Teaching Kindness

Remember that time when I wrote about how my husband and I went to San Francisco and our rental car got broken into and it was okay because we sat and thought about things to be grateful for?

Well. Apparently we should never go on vacation. I've decided when we go on vacation we either have to have vomiting kids or car trouble of some sort, because or last few vacations have gone as follows: San Diego - clutch goes out on the car on Christmas Eve; Texas - CB gets carsick in the middle of the night and vomits all over twice; San Francisco - the aforementioned car getting broken into; Tucson - CB gets some kind of horrible stomach bug and starts throwing up right as we pull up to a hotel and then throws up all night; Texas again - parts go shooting out of our engine 3 hours from our destination and our car is totally trashed.

This last one was extra special because we'd only just bought the car about six months before, we had two kids in the car, and it was the beginning of our vacation after a year of not seeing my husband's mom. We'd decided to stop for the night just three hours out because we didn't see any point in driving until 4 am, and about two miles down the road the next morning we heard a horrible knocking that rapidly turned into a loud clang and smoke.

I could write another list about all of the things I thought of to be grateful for this time around, because I was shockingly calm about the whole thing and noticed lots of reasons that we were really lucky. (My husband had a harder time getting to that point, since he'd done a TON of research before he bought the car and felt pretty mad about it going out on us, but he got there eventually.) However, what really stuck out to me was how kind people were. At least 5 cars stopped in the hour we were sitting on the side of the road on a highway that wasn't all that busy. Some of them just slowed down to ask if we needed water or snacks until the tow truck came. Some told us they would pray for us. Some offered rides and advice. One family on their way to a funeral stopped and asked if we needed anything, then CAME BACK a few minutes later because they'd noticed there was a truck stop just over the hill and thought it would be a better place to wait with two babies. They totally rearranged everything in their truck to cram us and our car seats and our essentials in, and it was so much better to wait near a bathroom in the truck stop restaurant eating spaghetti and chicken strips and coloring than it would have been to wait by the side of the road for 3 hours for my brother in law to come and get us. (And, by the way, my incredibly kind brother-in-law ended up driving 7 hours for us that day, which I'm sure is not how he was hoping to spend his Saturday.)

When we got back from Texas, my two and a half year old had a few days where she was just royally grumpy and trying, (and this after a week of mixed interactions with her cousins, some wonderful and lovely, some of which resulted in hitting and crying in pursuit of possession of the coolest toys at Grancy's house). She was having potty accidents and wasn't listening and wasn't being very nice (a friend of mine calls it re-entry sickness - that craziness kids get adjusting to normal life after vacation), and I was just at my wit's end. Her favorite thing in the whole world right now is dressing up in princess dresses, and suddenly in the middle of another uncharacteristic fit I had an inspiration. "You know sweetie, princesses are always kind and nice. If you aren't kind, I don't think you can be a princess. It's fun to dress up, but it's more important to be kind and nice to people."

This totally struck a chord with her, and over the two months that we've been home from Texas. I have occasionally taken princess dress privileges away for periods of time until she can show me that she's being kind. My husband and I talk to her about being "nice and kind" daily. Sometimes hourly. As with most things, it seems to be getting easier for her with practice. She routinely points out unkind behavior to me when she sees it in a movie or at the playground and says things like, "[Blank] is being mean! That's not very good!" When I point out to her that her behavior isn't kind she is quick to tell me, "But I am nice and kind!" and then we talk about what we can do that would be better - what would be kinder. I make a big deal about it when she shares with her little sister without being asked, when she shows she is thinking about other people, when she thanks me for the yummy dinner even though she hasn't actually tried it yet and might not.

It's easy to think about yourself. It's especially easy for a preschooler to only think about herself, because her brain just hasn't developed all the way yet and she just hasn't developed that much empathy yet, and it's easy to just ignore children's inability to be kind and assume that they'll just grow out of it - which I suppose to some extent they probably will. But the more I talk to my daughter about kindness, the more I realize that how important it is, and how effective it is even though I know some things will come better with age. She talks better and better each day. She's starting to recognize letters. She's getting stronger and more agile and more beautiful every day. But the thing that matters most to me is that she's also getting better at being kind. I can see a difference already, and she has so much time to learn to be really kind and wonderful. Maybe someday she'll be the one stopping to help someone broken down by the side of the road, reminding them that even though things are bad right now, it will be okay - because people are kind. 

Flying with Baby: A Letter to the Person Sitting Next to Us

Unfortunately I live in a different state than my family which means that a few times a year I get the unpleasant experience of flying by myself with a helpless baby. It is a time of great stress. Among my concerns about how to keep my son sitting still on my lap without a horse tranquilizer and how to use the restroom with my baby strapped to my chest in a baby bjorn, I also worry about who is going to end up sitting next to us on the flight. We fly on an airline with no assigned seats that boards parents with young children towards the end which means I could wander the airplane in search of the ideal canidate to sit by. On my last flight while waiting at the gate I found myself scanning the crowd for possibilities of who might be a good option to try and sit next to when I realized- I might be the teensiest bit unrealistic in my expectations of a seat mate. So I drafted a letter to use for future flights to make my screening process easier, perhaps you would like a copy to hand out to your future seat mates as well...

To my potential seat mate,

Would you like to sit by my son on an airplane? You should, he's very cute and gives large open-mouth kisses freely. He might poop his pants but that's ok right? I thought so.

There are however a few qualifications you must meet to be granted the honor of sitting next to my baby. Oh it's nothing unreasonable, and if you do these things you will be rewarded handsomely by payment of Cheerios given through sticky fingers. Don't worry. He almost always gets them in your mouth.

First of all, I see that you bought some overpriced snacks before you got on the plane. I'm sure you'd like to eat them but that's not really going to work out for us on account of my son's food jealousy issues. If you could just hide all your food for the duration of the flight that would be appreciated. Don't even think about taking one of those little bags of peanuts either... And also, no complimentary drinks, sorry, my son likes to dip his face in open cups of liquid.

Hmm, I see that you have an iPad. You're going to have to keep that hidden as well. OR you could let my son play with it! He's drooled on my iPhone for months now and it's still working, if that makes you feel better.

And sorry, no reading material either. My son has an affinity for ripping paper and then eating it. If you could just sit there quietly staring straight ahead until he decides he is ready to play peek a boo with you that would be great.

And please no jewelry. He rips out earrings, yanks necklaces, and eats watches. I guess a modest ring would be ok. But just the one, and nothing too shiny please. Glasses would be a definite deal breaker. Do you have contact lenses you can wear? 

Lastly you'll need to wait til you leave the plane to call your ride. We're not allowed to talk on cell phones in his presence.

So you can see that we're not asking much, we're very easy to sit by! One of us will keep our hands to ourselves. One of us won't scream in your ear. One of us won't touch your face with drool soaked fingers... But I can't make any promises about the other one.

Happy flying.

Love,

Paige and Cooper

Being a mom without being a mom

I've blogged before, a few years ago, about my perspective of motherhood through being an aunt.  I feel like I have a unique situation that is often undervalued or under-minded by people who might not fully understand.  I'm not just an aunt.  I have dealt with the good and the bad.  I've spent sleepless nights with a sick child and I've spent days on the couch just trying to make it to bedtime.  I have more experience with children than a lot of people I know who actually have children.  But I'm not a mother. 

This brings me to my nephew, JD.  

Seriously though. He is the cutest.

I can't even begin to explain this kid to you.  He's funny and smart and so cute. He talks ALL THE TIME and he says the strangest, funniest things.  

Last weekend, my mom and dad went to my sister's house to stay with her boys while my sister and her husband attended a conference.  My sister had the boys paint wooden spoons as a Mother's Day gift for my mom.  JD got the spoons and gave them to my mom and, unprompted, said, "These are for Mother's Day. There are two for you and two for Zizi!"  I'm Zizi.  My mom came home and told me this and I just about lost it.  I had to text my sister immediately and thank her for sharing him with me.

Mother's Day isn't my favorite.  It reminds me of my Grandmother who passed away.  It reminds me that there are things in this life that I have always wanted that I don't yet have and that I have very little (if any) control over whether I will ever get those things.  

But then JD comes along.  He always thinks of me.  Not because someone else has prompted him, but because he loves me and because, through some stroke of luck, he and I just get each other.  This all sounds so sappy, but it's important.  It's important and meaningful for me to see that I have actually impacted his life, and the lives of my other nephews and niece, the way he has impacted mine.  It's important to feel this connection, which is so close to feeling like a mother without actually being a mother, and helps me feel like I am doing something good in my life.  It validates the time and energy I devote to helping raise my sister's kids.  It makes me feel so good.

JD is proof that you can be a mom without being a mom.  There are people out there, not just children, who need the kind of love and support only a mother can provide, even if it's just for a short while.  Unconditional love, a shoulder to cry on, a place to turn during good times and bad times.  That's what a mom is there for and that is something everyone is capable of providing.

First Pregnancy vs. Second Pregnancy

Guess what guys? I'm pregnant!

I feel like I'm a little late to the party, since I'm the fourth in line to deliver of the currently pregnant Lovely authors. (Amanda is seriously about to deliver any day!)

Pregnancy is weird, but it's a totally different weirdness the second time around, and some of the weirdness is just due to the fact that you've done it all before, and it's just not that weird any more. Here are some examples of the way my first pregnancy and my second are differing so far.

• First: Rushed out to buy a pregnancy test the SECOND I thought it was possible I was "late."
  Second: After a few false alarms due to postpartum breastfeeding confusion, I waited for over a week after I was pretty sure to go and buy the test. I was still really excited, but those things are like $7 apiece and I didn't want to waste any more money on them until I was pretty sure it was for real!
• First: Immediately pulled up that scene from I Love Lucy where Ricky sings "We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me" and then finds out he's the one whose wife is trying to tell him she's pregnant and I BAWLED.
  Second: Did a little jumping up and down, but was in the middle of dealing with giving my daughter antibiotics for a staph infection and getting ready to move in two days, so there just wasn't a lot of time to sit around and bask in the glow of pregnancy. 
• First: So. Much. Vomit. For like 19 weeks. (Okay, this probably isn't everyone's experience. Sorry.)
  Second: Less vomit. Lots of general yuckiness. Later onset of symptoms. Lots of predictions that I'm having a boy this time since my symptoms are different. (Also, stomach flu, which made up for the less vomit over the course of a couple of days. Ugh.) 
• First: Took my prenatal vitamins for MONTHS before and religiously every day during my pregnancy. Checked all of the lists of things to avoid and was terrified of hot tubs, cold cuts, tuna, and about 25 other things that were on various lists.
  Second: Tried really hard to remember to take my vitamins. Remembered most days. Wondered what on earth I was so freaked out about last time. Why was I even looking at those lists? But did make sure that if I ate sushi, it was cooked. 
• First: Immediately started researching cribs, mattresses, strollers, car seats, nursery ideas, quilt patterns, and childrearing methods. Read ALL THE BOOKS and the blogs and the pregnancy calendars and so on and so forth.
  Second: Well, I've already got the crib and the carseat . . . I suppose if it had been a boy he'd need some clothes, but since we just found out it's another girl, she can wear hand me downs for awhile . . . and as for the nursery, I'm mostly concerned about how we'll fit two beds in the kids' room of our two bedroom apartment. I can worry about decorations a little later on, like when she is ready to move in with big sister a few months after she is born. (Probably before that when nesting goes into full swing - but I'm not obsessively pinning things this time.) 
• First: Really, really want that nicely defined baby bump to show up quickly so people wouldn't just think I was getting chubby.
  Second: Remembering how miserable carrying that baby bump was toward the end, I am in no hurry for it to pop out. There was no greater relief than being able to bend over to pick something up without wanting to die, once baby number one was born. (Also, has anyone else noticed that something about having kids makes you less concerned about your own appearance? I mean, I care, but I have gone out with spit up on my shoulder because I was too busy checking the diaper bag to check the mirror more times than I can say . . .) 
• First: Really concerned about getting stretch marks. Listened very careful to all tips about how to avoid them. Thought I had avoided them only to have them pop out in the home stretch.
  Second: Hahahahahahahaha. (Seriously though. Stretch marks are not that big of a deal. Especially if you, like me, have no desire to wear a bikini, but also just generally. Meh. They look scary when they pop put, but mine faded quite a lot and they just don't bother me.
• First: Broke out the maternity clothes WAY too early. 
Second: Holding off on the maternity clothes as long as humanly possible, because I remember how freaking tired of them I was by the time I delivered that baby. 

What do you think? Any of this sounding familiar to any of you? Any tips for the second baby coming up? 

Toddler Dress From Daddy's Shirt

When your wish list includes things like a car with more than two doors, being able to pay for a second baby in a few months, and eventually being able to afford a down payment on a house, you tend to find lots of creative ways to cut your budget. This month, I decided that before I spent $30 on an Easter dress for my toddler (because Easter dresses are obviously a need, but not one that I want to spend $30 on this year) I would finally try to turn one of my husband's old dress shirts that I rescued from the DI bag (DI is the Utah version of Goodwill) into a dress. I'd pinned about a thousand tutorials for it, but I narrowed it down to the one that seemed most comprehensive (see below). I went to the fabric store to pick up a little fabric for the waistband and some 1/4" elastic and spent about $5 on the stuff for what I hoped would be two dresses, plus extra for a coordinating doll for her Easter basket, because I'm ridiculous like that. 

For this project you will need:

• 1 men's dress shirt
• 1 package 1/4" elastic
• Some coordinating fabric for the waistband, if desired (I needed two squares that were 5" by 19" for this 2T sized dress)
• Sewing machine
• Thread
• Peasant dress pattern (see below)
• Safety pin for threading elastic

Here's what I learned in my first attempt using this tutorial: I do not understand enough about fitting a dress to whip up my own pattern as this talented lady suggests. Either I picked the wrong dress to use as a pattern or I cut too much off when I was trying to even it up or I haven't ever actually made a dress before and had no idea what a pattern should look like. (That last one, probably.) In any case, when I had put together enough of the dress to try it on my little one, it was so tight in the arms and chest that I couldn't actually get it back off her without cutting it off, and I didn't know enough about fitting things to know how to add in some fabric so it would fit. So. Dress #1, scrapped before I'd done more than unpick the pocket of the shirt, cut it out, sew up the neck and sew down the sides.

See the sleeves cutting into her arms and the front of the dress puckering? Not cozy.

I didn't want to spend time making a second non-fitting dress, so I did a search for a peasant dress pattern and found this free pattern with accompanying tutorial, which looked similar to what I had been trying to make, but like the person who made it actually knew something about fitting a dress to a little girl (unlike me).  I used the 2T/3T version of the pattern to cut out the back of the dress, then laid it out on the front so I wouldn't have to figure out how to make sure the buttoned up front would be even (since this pattern wasn't actually made to go with a dress shirt.) Not only did this version fit, but it was a million times easier to sew up the neck, which had been miserable in my first attempt. (I was yelling, "HOW DO YOU IRON DOWN A CIRCLE??" for most of the first attempt, then just gave up and went for it in a bunchy mess.) This one used all straight lines for the neckline (which is genius, since it all curves when you stick the elastic in anyway), and so was really easy to iron down and sew up a casing for the elastic. (In case you're wondering, I had never in my life sewn a casing for elastic. Now I have done 5 for this dress, so I'm feeling confident.)

Note the difference between the two dresses, particularly in the armpit area.

 The second dress was so comfy it inspired lots of dancing.

This is my model at her least cooperative.

When the dress was hemmed and had elastic in the neck and sleeves, I was tempted to stop. But the dress had been a little more flowy than I wanted it to be when I tried it on CB pre-hemming, so I decided to go back to the first tutorial and make the waistband. I was a little afraid of it, but taking it one step at a time I found it was mostly straight lines. The biggest hiccup was realizing that I had started sewing the front of the dress to the back of the dress while I was sewing the waistband to the dress (it wouldn't be a Megan project if I didn't spend about half of my time with a seam ripper in my hand) and having to unpick a couple of inches. I placed the waistband higher than the original tutorial did, because the dress had been SO flowy when I tried it on her that I was afraid that it would be a balloon above the waistband when I put it on her. This way it just has a really full skirt, which is excellent for dancing. I used one of her other dresses as a guide for placement, and I think it looks pretty cute.

I haven't decided whether the boots are the right shoes for this, but I have some time before Easter.

She decided she needed to do butterfly fingers at me

Dance!

Next up: using the scraps to try to make that matching doll! Wish me luck!

Winter Bundling and a GIVEAWAY!

Update: The winner for this contest is Megan Bowen! Congratulations! You'll be contacted with instructions about how to claim your prize. Thanks to everyone who entered, and don't forget you can still use the coupon Merry15 to get a 15% discount at the Little Sproutie shop! 

Note: I was having a little too much fun writing this post, and it may have gotten away from me. If you don't want to see this many pictures, skip down to the bottom for the giveaway and I won't be mad. I received the hat from Little Sproutie in return for hosting the giveaway and offering my opinion. The opinions, pictures and little girl are my own. 

My little girl loves to be outside. Summer was a completely magical time where we were constantly outside playing in the sprinklers and reveling in her utter delight. In the fall, we tried to keep going for lots of walks, heading to the park to take advantage of the cooler weather, and teaching her the joys of crunchy leaves.

Summer is the best.

Fall is pretty good too.

Then winter hit.

The snow is pretty, and she really loves pointing out snowmen everywhere we go ("'NO-MEHN!!!") but for the last couple of weeks it has just been SO DANG COLD. We've taught CB to go, "Brrr!" and give a little shiver whenever we talk about the outside, and it makes me a little sad. A couple of weeks ago, we went to a nearby city's Christmas light parade, bundled her up in a hand-me-down snowsuit she'd never worn, put her down to walk around for a minute, and watched her promptly fall flat on her face.

For a small moment, she was so very happy. And pink.

But here's the good news! The best, best part about winter is that babies clearly look adorable in winter gear. That ridiculous snowsuit that made her fall down? Adorable. This snuggly coat and bunny hat we took to Bryce Canyon?

So adorable.

But I am so excited today, because I get to share with you the most adorable baby hats ever, and I get to GIVE ONE AWAY to ONE OF YOU! 

Little Sproutie is an absolutely darling Etsy shop that features sweet children's aprons and really unbelievably cute hats featuring fruits and veggies (and footballs! The football hats!). 

We chose the strawberry, because it's probably CB's favorite fruit (although grapes are neck-in-neck) and she looks killer in red. See? (Also, hooray for Crazy 8 having the sweater dress I loved last year on the clearance rack this year - in her size and her size only! It's a very small Christmas miracle.) 

This looks delicious. What is this?

She realized moments later that walking in this stuff was very frustrating.

She liked knocking over mini snowmen. 

These hats are made from beautiful snuggly yarn that is cozy on baby ears. It's stretchy enough that it will fit for longer than a day, but it won't come off unless it gets a pretty good tug from a chubby little baby hand. Best of all, it's ridiculously cute. I took my little girl to the store in it the day it came in the mail and people were stopping me right and left to tell me how cute she was in it. (Is it vanity to love getting compliments about my child? Probably. Whoops.) CB immediately recognized what it was when we pulled it out of the package and got a huge smile on her face (although the resemblance to a strawberry is probably not the reason she keeps trying to chew on that stem when she pulls it off in the car. I blame the impending molars.)

And guess what? Enter our Rafflecopter giveaway below and you can win an item of your choice in the size of your choice. It will be perfect for your little sproutie, or it would make a great gift. (By some magical twist of fate, at least three of the Lovely Blog contributors are currently pregnant - I'm sure you could send one to one of them!) Giveaway ends New Year's Day at midnight! 

And if you don't win, you can still use the coupon MERRY15 to get 15% off your order. Put that Christmas money from Grandma to good use!

Don't cry. There's a coupon!

Bundle those little ones up and try not to let them fall on their faces. We'll get through winter together.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Characters we love: Doc McStuffins

As a mother of a preschooler and a toddler, I am often assaulted by horrible, mind numbing "entertainment" that is equally annoying and pointless. Not only that, but most of these shows play into typical stereotypes that undermine the potential of my daughters.

That is, until Doc McStuffins came along.

Doc McStuffins is Disney's animated tale of a six year old named Dottie, known as Doc McStuffins. Instead of dreaming of castles and princesses, Doc aspires to be a Doctor, just like her mother.  Doc spends her days diagnosing ailments and treating her stuffed animal patients with the aid of her magical stethoscope. Not only is this one of the rare occasions where a Disney female protagonist wears a lab coat instead of a ball gown, Doc is African American.

Myiesha Taylor a Doctor and mother of a preschooler said she was excited to see, "a child of color in a starring role... and she’s an aspiring intellectual professional, not a singer or dancer or athlete.”  She decided to create an online collage featuring Doc surrounded by photos of real African American women medical professionals. She wrote,  "We are trailblazers. We are women of color. We are physicians. We ARE role-models. We are Doc McStuffins all grown up!"

When my preschooler discovered Doc she absolutely fell in love, and so did I. At three years old growing up in a large, multicultural city she didn't even notice that Doc's skin color was different from hers. For her fourth birthday, she requested a Doc McStuffins birthday party and requested chocolate cake because, "Doc's hair is brown." Hannah tells me that she wants to be "A doctor or a nurse and a mommy," when she grows up. I'm sure she'll go through lots of phases between now and adulthood, but I'm very happy that one of her role models is a little girl who wants to make a big difference. Plus how can you resist THIS adorableness? 

Confessions of a Costume Cheater

Last year was my little girl's first Halloween. I thought briefly about making her a Halloween costume, but in the end, having a newborn was exhausting enough that I decided to just go ahead and buy the cute ladybug costume at Costco. It was warm, it was cute, it was easy, and I could re-use the shirt and the tights. I would be more ambitious next year. (Note: I also thought about making costumes for me and my husband and did not. Oh well.)

Her dad collected and ate candy on her behalf. Aw.

This year, I started thinking about it early. I had so many ideas! I could use this tutorial to make her an adorable penguin costume! I could try this one to make her a hedgehog costume! Finally, I had it narrowed down to either a chicken or a flamingo. I'd found boas, I could sew them onto a shirt, make her a hoodie with the appropriate additions, and bam!

And then I had some Kohl's cash, and I found this cute little panda hoodie with ears, and I spent all of $2 on it. My husband asked if we were going to use it for Halloween and suddenly it sounded like a great idea. It was cute, it was warm, it was already made. I put together a no-sew tutu (because I knew how to do it and already had the tulle from her birthday), made some felt panda feet (which were probably unnecessary, but only took one viewing of the Disney Sleepy Hollow and a couple of scraps of felt), pulled out some hand-me-down tights from the back of the drawer, and we had a costume.

This panda prefers cheese sticks to bamboo.

Part of me felt a little disappointed in myself for again for taking such an easy route on Halloween, especially as my friends' homemade costume pictures started rolling through my Instagram and Facebook feeds. Look how cute they are! Why didn't I do that? If might have been incredible!

But seriously, what do I have to prove? Yes, I want to improve my sewing skills, and yes, I would like to be able to make things for my daughter. I am SO impressed by the skills of some of my friends, and I hope that with a little more practice, I too can whip up some awesome, creative, brilliant costumes, mostly because I think it would be satisfying to do so. Maybe when my little girl is old enough to put in a request, we can pick things out together and create something magical. But should I feel like a failure because I didn't spend countless hours on her costume when we'll probably just walk around our neighborhood for half an hour this year?

Of course not.

Taking the easy way isn't always the best policy, but sometimes, it's okay to cut yourself some slack and take a shortcut. (I know I'm not the only one who wonders if I'm a failure as a mother for not  hand-sewing the entire costume as well, because Paige asked me the other night if she was a failure because she'd been out of town and they just moved and so she's going to have her little guy wear his skeleton pajamas instead of making him the Charlie Brown costume she'd imagined. And no. She is not a failure. She is awesome.) In a social media world where we put everything we do on display constantly, we sometimes feel unnecessary pressure to go above and beyond in circumstances when it really doesn't matter that much. Spending many frustrating hours with my sewing machine (I am a better seamstress in my mind than I am in real life) wouldn't make it a better Halloween. My daughter won't really know what's going on anyway, but she'll probably enjoy the extra candy that I don't normally keep around the house. The fact that I did not deconstruct an amazing thrift store find, dye it, and reassemble it as an incredible Pinterest-worthy costume will probably not hold my child back. Why do I feel like I should stress myself out making something by hand that won't make her any cuter, and that she's not guaranteed to wear anyway?

Exactly.

It does not get cuter than this, friends.

So this Halloween season, if you made a beautiful costume from scratch, I salute you. I can't wait to see it, and maybe I'll add it to my inspiration board for next year. But if you went ahead and bought one at Wal-mart and called it good, well, I'm right there with you. And our kids still look pretty cute.

Board Book Favorites

I've been reading a lot of board books with my daughter. She loves to look at the pictures and the books are more destruction proof with the thick cardboard pages. Plus they are generally smaller and easier for her to hold because she loves to look through them on her own also. Here are some of our favorites.

This Little Piggy and Other Favorite Action Rhymes by Hannah Wood. We like having all the favorite nursery rhymes and songs plus some new ones. Wood has several books and they are all fun.

 

ZooBorns! Zoo Babies from Around the World by Andrew Bleiman and Chris Eastland. There are lots of unusual animals in here for kids to learn about and anything that is a baby is just cute.

Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes by Mem Fox and Helen Oxenbury. I thought this book was cute, but my daughter absolutely loved it! I think we read it three times in a row without her moving once. She likes pictures of other little toddlers and this has lots of different toddlers from around the world.

The Splendid Spotted Snake by Betty Ann Schwartz. This book is fun because the snake grows and grows with each page turn. It's fun to watch and my daughter liked to feel the ribbon snake.

When the World was Waiting for You by Gillian Shields and Anna Currey. This is a cute book about getting ready for a baby to come, then enjoying the baby with family. It ends with the world waiting for the baby to grow up and be and do something special.

Let's Go to the Farm by Fisher Price. There are lots of flaps to lift in this book that teaches animal names and sounds, and also shapes and colors and farm things.
 

The Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton. Anything by Sandra Boynton is "serious silliness" (from the back of one of her books. This one is fitting for my daughter who loves her "bee bo" a lot.
 

My First Library by Baby Einstein. This is a great set to have because it teaches shapes, nature, colors, letters, music, and animals with real photos mixed with drawings, and also most have one word per page. They are also the perfect size for little hands to hold and come in a handy carrying case.

A Second a Day from Birth

Those around me have been experiencing quite the baby boom. I can't even begin to count the number of babies who have been born to my friends, friends of friends, friends' family members (we're all close, so their family is really like my family), colleagues, high school acquaintances, you name it. Babies are happening all around me and I'm fascinated by them. Don't take that the wrong way. I'm not popping out a little one any time soon. I'm fascinated by how quickly they change; I'm fascinated by how they explore this world and all that is new; I'm fascinated by how one tiny person can capture my attention for hours (while they just lie there, mostly sleeping, sometimes eating, pooping, crying, or giving the occasional smile or sweet little laugh).  I'm also fascinated by how this one person can make such a huge impact on my friends as their perspectives change from that of late-20s/early-30s professionals to that of new parents. I love seeing them grow, embracing their new roles and responsibilities and being so filled with a love they could never imagine (and for me not being a parent, I'm still working on imagining it). So when I bumped into this video online I was absolutely captivated. What a fantastic (and moving) way to capture every day of that remarkable first year! 

A Second a Day from Birth. from Sam Christopher Cornwell on Vimeo.

10 Books My 1-Year-Old Loves

Perhaps we aren't quite ready for Harry Potter yet, sweetie.

Disclosure: I'm experimenting with the Amazon Affiliate program on this post, which basically means if you click any of these links and buy these books, the blog gets a small percentage. I tell you this not to urge you to buy any of these items, but to tell you that if for some reason you decide to buy any of them, you may as well support the blog at the same time, eh? This did not influence my choice of books and the opinions are entirely my own. And CB's.

I don't know what it is about this age, but suddenly my baby, who at first just kind of tolerated me reading to her or flipped through the pages of one or two books and then headed off, has decided she LOVES books. She goes over to her book shelf, grabs a book, thrusts it toward me (there is really no other word for the way she gives them to me) and then crawls into my lap when I pat it and sits there for half an hour reading book after book. I love that this is part of her developing curiosity, and I hope for many years of reading together.

However, some books are understandably bigger hits than others with the 13-month-old attention span. Here are a few of our favorites right now (most of which have been favorites for at least a month or more).

The Spooky Old Tree by Stan and Jan Berenstain
This book was universally loved by my brothers and me when I was little, and my little one loves it just as much. She especially loves when we get to the little bears with shivers and I make her shiver, and when we do a big chomp as they go up the spooky old stair over the alligator. The text is short enough that she sits through it really well again and again.

I Ain't Gonna Paint No More! by Karen Beaumont
The illustrations in this book are so delightful that it would be hard not to love it just for the joyous color and crazy-looking kid, but the text is so fun and musical, and as the child paints each body part it gets funnier. It's a pure delight, and even my small child loves looking at the colorful pictures and having me tap each part of her as the child gets more covered in paint. "Like an Easter egg, gonna paint my LEG! Now I ain't gonna paint no more!"

The Adventures of Bert by Allan Ahlberg and Raymond Briggs
This bizarre little British book has been a favorite with all of my nieces and nephews, and now CB loves it too. I think the love stems from the first couple of pages where you are introduced to Bert and his wife (Mrs. Bert) and told to say hello to them, but NOT to Baby Bert, who is sleeping. Then you turn the page and wake the baby up, and he cries very loudly. CB loves waving to the Berts and waiting for the cry. Bert has other adventures, like getting stuck in his shirt and being chased by a sausage, but waking up the baby by turning the page has always been the biggest hit.

Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?  by Dr. Seuss
Not all Dr. Seuss books are favorites yet, but this one is beloved. She loves the sounds, and when we get to the sound of the hand on a door, she knocks on her head as soon as she sees the picture (because that's what I always do on that page). It is beyond adorable. There's a nice shorter board book version, but she'll usually sit through the whole thing now if I make the sounds exciting enough.

Pride & Prejudice: A BabyLit Counting Primer  by Jennifer Adams
We have about five of these so far, and she loves them all. I think her favorites are a tossup between P&P and Jane Eyre, probably because she quite likes counting books right now, and having me count the things out for her. I have a feeling she'll like Moby Dick more in the future, because it's her daddy's favorite.

Where Is Baby's Belly Button? by Karen Katz
This has actually been one of her favorite books for a long time, and it is now so well-loved that the flaps all have reinforcing tape on them because she's ripped a couple of them and the rest are totally dog-eared. She loves the babies, she loves lifting the flaps, and now she's starting to point to her belly button.

Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb by Al Perkins
This book is so fun and rhythmic. I highly recommend using your baby's belly as a drum as you read it. By the time CB was 10 months old, she'd started beating her tummy drum as soon as she saw the cover of this one. I might have it memorized. Maybe. My favorite part is where there are some monkeys saying hello to each other (Hello Jack! Hello Jake!) and when CB started waving, she would wave to the monkeys when they said hello. (Basically, we love a book that invites waving.)

Are You a Cow? by Sandra Boynton
Sandra Boynton is just the best, and I love all of her books (and her CDs!) but we are particularly taken with this one right now because of the big animal faces, the very short text, and the duck. My favorite line is "You are not a hippo. You are small. They are big." It cracks me up for some reason. Maybe you have to be there.

Fuzzy Yellow Ducklings by Matthew Van Fleet
This was a gift from my mom, and it is delightful, but not to be perused by a solo baby, as it is a little fragile. However, she is in love with the fun illustrations, the folding pages, and the delightful textures. The sticky frog tongues and the sandpapery sharks are my favorite, but CB loves the wooly lamb.

Hug by Jez Alborough
We picked this book up on a whim from a zoo gift shop because the little monkey's name is Bobo, which is what we called our baby until we picked her real name. (I think this came about because my husband suggested "Jimbo" as a possible baby name, and I told him that was a monkey name. He said, "No, no, you're thinking of Bobo." Thankfully, we had a girl and put off that discussion a little longer.) The illustrations in this book are so adorable, and the only words in the book are "Hug," and the monkeys' names, but the story of a little monkey looking for his mommy is still kind of touching and sweet. I'm excited to read it as CB gets older and can try to figure out what's going on in the story for herself.

10 months old, reading with Daddy 

What are your favorite books for little ones? 

Wishes

To my baby girl on her first birthday:

A year ago, you were placed in my arms all tiny and wrinkly and screaming, and I was shaking so hard that I had to give you back to your dad after a minute because 1) I had just given birth like two seconds before, 2) apparently epidurals give you the residual shakes, especially when you push the button for the first time right after the baby is born because 3) you need some stitches and the epidural wasn't that strong so you can feel said stitches, causing you to squeeze your tiny baby a little harder than your new mother self feels is safe.

Anyway.

Once the shakiness and stitching were over, I got to hold you again. You hadn't had a bath yet, so your hair was still a little sticky and your eyes had that goop on them. You had the tiniest little lips and the tiniest little nose and the tiniest little fingers, and after months of crazy pregnancy dreams about  you coming out as a toddler with a mouth full of teeth or being born on the floor accidentally, somehow this was more surreal than any of that. You were the little person I'd been wondering about while you elbowed me in the ribs, bounced when I listened to music, kicked when your dad put his hand on my tummy. It was nothing like I imagined it would be and everything I didn't know I wanted it to be, even with the stickiness and goopiness and shakiness. You were so beautiful and amazing, and I didn't know even a tiny fraction of how beautiful and amazing you were actually going to be. I'm sure I still don't.

Alert from the beginning. The smiles came a few weeks later.

The weird thing about waiting for a baby to be born, for me, was that I imagined what you would be like as a newborn, and I imagined what you would be like as an older kid, but I had no idea that what happens during the rest of a baby's first year is the most amazing thing, except possibly what happens to a mother during her first year.

Since you aren't old enough to make wishes for yourself, I thought I'd like to make a few for you. You don't need that much right now, so these are wishes you can save for later.

• I hope that someday you decide to be a mother, and that you get to experience the sheer wonder that comes from looking at a tiny person and seeing elements of yourself and your spouse in her, but also seeing a personality that you know is entirely her own. You can't imagine how incredible it is to realize just how individual a baby is, even at a ridiculously young age. I'm reminded of your individuality whenever we play with other babies or I talk to other mothers and I find myself thinking things like, "Oh, that baby hasn't made up her own dance moves yet, but does give her mom kisses. Fascinating." 
• I hope that you have a husband who is as supportive as your dad is, who may not totally understand how you can feel so much joy and so much frustration with your life at the same time, but who knows that sometimes you need him to tell you to go read a book while he takes the baby and does the dishes, and who supports whatever you decide you need to do to feel like a happy and productive adult, and who trusts your judgment as a mother. I can't imagine what this year would have been like without him. 
• I hope that someday you will understand why I have pictures of your baby self in the snow and the grass and on the merry-go-round and at the beach, even though you will have no memory of any of these things, because you will also feel the need to show your baby all of the wonderful things in the world and experience them through her eyes. 
• I hope that someday your baby will be crying  until the moment that you pick her up, and you'll realize that you are more important to her than you ever realized you could be to anyone. And you'll realize this is right, because she is more important to you than you ever realized was possible too. 
• I hope someday you'll be rocking your baby and suddenly she'll put her head on your shoulder and fall asleep, because your arms are her favorite place to be. 
• I hope that becoming a mother will help you realize just how little it matters whether you have snot all over your favorite shirt, as long as you are there to snuggle your sick child. 
• I hope that having your own child will someday help you realize just how much your own mother loves you. 
• I hope that in spite of all of the wishes I will surely have for you throughout your life, you will always know that I believe in your potential to be anything you want to be. I hope you know that I am here to pick you up when you fall and cheer for you when you succeed.  

Happy birthday, little one. I can't wait to see more of who you're going to become, and what your own wishes will be as you grow up.  

Love,

Mama

I love that you put this on your own head. 

Family Planning: What Would Sweden Do?

Today's guest poster prefers to remain anonymous so that she can share her secret family-planning anxiety without actually having to share it with people who will bug her about it. But we promise, she is awesome. Enjoy!

I have two pretty cool kids. Crazy, fun, usually covered in food and sporting great bed-head throughout most of the day.

A boy. A girl. They each have their own bedroom, a spot around our 4-person dinner table, and a roomy seat in our small car.

So, with everything going so well with two, why not complicate things with maybe one more?
 
I swore upside down and sideways that I would never have another baby. I proclaimed it defiantly to those who thought I was ‘too young’ to make such a final decision! I scheduled a vasectomy for my husband!

(Seriously. He didn’t show up because apparently that’s the kind of appointment he wanted to make for himself. Go figure.)

Let me tell you, contemplating a third child brings up some pretty strange questions. With two kids behind me, I’ve googled everything there is about babies and all that crazy business. Google knows my ovulation cycle.

It knows everything.

So what is there left to contemplate when deciding if tres is your magic number?

Well, everything. Here are the things I’ve typed into that magical search engine just TODAY:

-What is the average number of children per household in Sweden? (I’m really into all things Scandinavian, so I wanted to see how I’d fit in…it’s weird. I know. But at least now it’s all on the table, right?)
-Will my child be crazy if he/she has to share a room? (Apparently many children share rooms and grow up to be mentally stable. A revelation, I tell you!)
-Fitting 3 humongous car seats in the back of a Ford Escape (I did an Image search for this one…it is not possible to safely fit 3 humongous car seats in the back of a Ford Escape.)
-Cool Minivans (Google: Did you mean Un-cool Minivans? Because apparently cool ones don’t exist).

Ok. For that last one, I jest…I’m totally pro-van.

What I’m getting at is, I thought that I’d been through the ringer with two little ones and knew everything there was about anything…but there is always so much more to learn. Even if it isn’t all that useful in helping you make life-changing decisions.

Like the average number of children per family in Sweden is 1.94.

(And that I feel sorry for those .94 children. Round up your statistics! For the sake of the children!)

So maybe I should tell you that really . . . truly . . . I don’t feel like our family is complete just quite yet. Maybe my feelings will change. Maybe we won’t be able to have another baby for some reason.

But for now, I’m trusting my gut and going for #3.

Some Mother's Day Loveliness

A couple of things for your Mother's Day Weekend:

Paige suggested posting this nice Mother's Day video. It's quite warm and fuzzy, and you should share it with your mother and give her a big hug. Mothers do so much for us, and I know that I still go to mine for just about everything.




I also wanted to share this article I re-read this week, called A Mother's Bill of Rights, or Mommy is a Person. I feel like Mother's Day is a rough time for mothers in the thick of it, because there is a lot of putting mothers on a pedestal, and a lot of stories about angelic mothers, and a lot of pictures of mothers who clearly got to spend more than five minutes on their hair today. And hey, I'm not saying they don't deserve to be on a pedestal, but when you feel like you are personally failing because your baby won't nap and won't hold still for diaper changes and there is poop smeared everywhere and you just want to curl up in a ball and cry for a minute, it's nice to remember that besides being a Mother, every mother is a person, and a person is allowed to have bad days, allowed to feel frustrated, allowed to just really want to take a shower, and allowed to buy a Little Caesar's pizza for dinner sometimes.

Happy Mother's Day. :)

Babies, Dogs, and Laughter: A Perfect Tuesday Distraction

Because it's Tuesday and babies and dogs and baby hiccups are adorable and we can all use a little adorable in our lives right about now, I give you "Baby laughing hysterically at Old English Sheepdog."

Guest Post: Brandon

Brandon is the founder of Notes on Parenting, a blog dedicated to giving parents important information about child development. It is also meant to bring up family life issues that we may not normally think about. Brandon is currently a student at Brigham Young University, majoring in Psychology with a minor in Family Life. He has been accepted for graduate studies in Human Development & Family Studies at the top schools around the nation. He and his wife have a beautiful (and teething) 9 month old daughter, who has done things all on her own time (i.e. she definitely doesn't fit what most of the development textbooks tell you!). Brandon's key interests include the transition to parenthood, the importance of fathers, and effective parenting.


How many times have you heard someone mention the impact of media on children? The most powerful video I've ever seen on the impact of media was created by Dove: Watch it here.

Seriously, after watching this video, all I can do is think, “I am raising my daughter with all of this around? How the heck do I protect her from all of this filth about what it takes to be a ‘real and beautiful’ woman?!”

But we can’t blame only outside influences--how many times do you yourself worry about how you look, or make comments about how you look in front of your children? Usually, what parents value, children begin to value as well; so if you are constantly worrying about those two extra pounds or your normal human body, children will begin to value a standard that may be unrealistic for their own bodies. Our bodies are sacred. Be careful what you do and say about your body around your children.

Additionally, everyday comments that we as parents make can influence our children's way of thinking about their bodies. For instance, which of the following approaches is better?

"Rachel! Stop watching TV all day. You'll get fat!"

-or-

"Rachel! Let's go for a bike ride together. It's a beautiful day!"

Both of these statements have the same intention--to get the child to stop watching TV and do something active--because the parent is worried about the child's exercise habits and health. However, the second example is much more effective on many levels. Instead of making the child worry about her looks and weight, the parent offers a better option for her daughter's time and body, while also spending time with the child. This is teaching by example. Be careful not to miss these small teaching moments! You can teach your children what real beauty is by letting them see your own priorities.

What do you have to say about this issue? How do you teach--or plan to teach--real beauty to your children?