First Pregnancy vs. Second Pregnancy

Guess what guys? I'm pregnant!

I feel like I'm a little late to the party, since I'm the fourth in line to deliver of the currently pregnant Lovely authors. (Amanda is seriously about to deliver any day!)

Pregnancy is weird, but it's a totally different weirdness the second time around, and some of the weirdness is just due to the fact that you've done it all before, and it's just not that weird any more. Here are some examples of the way my first pregnancy and my second are differing so far.

• First: Rushed out to buy a pregnancy test the SECOND I thought it was possible I was "late."
  Second: After a few false alarms due to postpartum breastfeeding confusion, I waited for over a week after I was pretty sure to go and buy the test. I was still really excited, but those things are like $7 apiece and I didn't want to waste any more money on them until I was pretty sure it was for real!
• First: Immediately pulled up that scene from I Love Lucy where Ricky sings "We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me" and then finds out he's the one whose wife is trying to tell him she's pregnant and I BAWLED.
  Second: Did a little jumping up and down, but was in the middle of dealing with giving my daughter antibiotics for a staph infection and getting ready to move in two days, so there just wasn't a lot of time to sit around and bask in the glow of pregnancy. 
• First: So. Much. Vomit. For like 19 weeks. (Okay, this probably isn't everyone's experience. Sorry.)
  Second: Less vomit. Lots of general yuckiness. Later onset of symptoms. Lots of predictions that I'm having a boy this time since my symptoms are different. (Also, stomach flu, which made up for the less vomit over the course of a couple of days. Ugh.) 
• First: Took my prenatal vitamins for MONTHS before and religiously every day during my pregnancy. Checked all of the lists of things to avoid and was terrified of hot tubs, cold cuts, tuna, and about 25 other things that were on various lists.
  Second: Tried really hard to remember to take my vitamins. Remembered most days. Wondered what on earth I was so freaked out about last time. Why was I even looking at those lists? But did make sure that if I ate sushi, it was cooked. 
• First: Immediately started researching cribs, mattresses, strollers, car seats, nursery ideas, quilt patterns, and childrearing methods. Read ALL THE BOOKS and the blogs and the pregnancy calendars and so on and so forth.
  Second: Well, I've already got the crib and the carseat . . . I suppose if it had been a boy he'd need some clothes, but since we just found out it's another girl, she can wear hand me downs for awhile . . . and as for the nursery, I'm mostly concerned about how we'll fit two beds in the kids' room of our two bedroom apartment. I can worry about decorations a little later on, like when she is ready to move in with big sister a few months after she is born. (Probably before that when nesting goes into full swing - but I'm not obsessively pinning things this time.) 
• First: Really, really want that nicely defined baby bump to show up quickly so people wouldn't just think I was getting chubby.
  Second: Remembering how miserable carrying that baby bump was toward the end, I am in no hurry for it to pop out. There was no greater relief than being able to bend over to pick something up without wanting to die, once baby number one was born. (Also, has anyone else noticed that something about having kids makes you less concerned about your own appearance? I mean, I care, but I have gone out with spit up on my shoulder because I was too busy checking the diaper bag to check the mirror more times than I can say . . .) 
• First: Really concerned about getting stretch marks. Listened very careful to all tips about how to avoid them. Thought I had avoided them only to have them pop out in the home stretch.
  Second: Hahahahahahahaha. (Seriously though. Stretch marks are not that big of a deal. Especially if you, like me, have no desire to wear a bikini, but also just generally. Meh. They look scary when they pop put, but mine faded quite a lot and they just don't bother me.
• First: Broke out the maternity clothes WAY too early. 
Second: Holding off on the maternity clothes as long as humanly possible, because I remember how freaking tired of them I was by the time I delivered that baby. 

What do you think? Any of this sounding familiar to any of you? Any tips for the second baby coming up? 

Family Planning: What Would Sweden Do?

Today's guest poster prefers to remain anonymous so that she can share her secret family-planning anxiety without actually having to share it with people who will bug her about it. But we promise, she is awesome. Enjoy!

I have two pretty cool kids. Crazy, fun, usually covered in food and sporting great bed-head throughout most of the day.

A boy. A girl. They each have their own bedroom, a spot around our 4-person dinner table, and a roomy seat in our small car.

So, with everything going so well with two, why not complicate things with maybe one more?
 
I swore upside down and sideways that I would never have another baby. I proclaimed it defiantly to those who thought I was ‘too young’ to make such a final decision! I scheduled a vasectomy for my husband!

(Seriously. He didn’t show up because apparently that’s the kind of appointment he wanted to make for himself. Go figure.)

Let me tell you, contemplating a third child brings up some pretty strange questions. With two kids behind me, I’ve googled everything there is about babies and all that crazy business. Google knows my ovulation cycle.

It knows everything.

So what is there left to contemplate when deciding if tres is your magic number?

Well, everything. Here are the things I’ve typed into that magical search engine just TODAY:

-What is the average number of children per household in Sweden? (I’m really into all things Scandinavian, so I wanted to see how I’d fit in…it’s weird. I know. But at least now it’s all on the table, right?)
-Will my child be crazy if he/she has to share a room? (Apparently many children share rooms and grow up to be mentally stable. A revelation, I tell you!)
-Fitting 3 humongous car seats in the back of a Ford Escape (I did an Image search for this one…it is not possible to safely fit 3 humongous car seats in the back of a Ford Escape.)
-Cool Minivans (Google: Did you mean Un-cool Minivans? Because apparently cool ones don’t exist).

Ok. For that last one, I jest…I’m totally pro-van.

What I’m getting at is, I thought that I’d been through the ringer with two little ones and knew everything there was about anything…but there is always so much more to learn. Even if it isn’t all that useful in helping you make life-changing decisions.

Like the average number of children per family in Sweden is 1.94.

(And that I feel sorry for those .94 children. Round up your statistics! For the sake of the children!)

So maybe I should tell you that really . . . truly . . . I don’t feel like our family is complete just quite yet. Maybe my feelings will change. Maybe we won’t be able to have another baby for some reason.

But for now, I’m trusting my gut and going for #3.

Confessions of a Pregnant Texter

So today my baby was taking an abnormally long time to put down for a nap and I found myself reading old text messages I sent to my husband while I was pregnant. I think when you're pregnant you are kind of living in this alternate universe where you think that you're rational and normal when in fact you are quite the opposite. But no one tells you that because they don't want to make you cry even more. Anyway, thought I'd share some of these precious gems, which in hindsight are all super ridiculous and I don't know how Josh put up with it for nine months! Enjoy!

Me: So my baby shower is postponed because my grandma's aunt died and that's when her funeral is and now I bet no one can come. Everyone gets parties but me!

Josh: Paige, people can't help when they die.

Me: Stupid Aunt Sue. I just want to open presents all day long!

Me: One of my co-workers just started eating some weird meat that's been in the fridge for two months and it just made me sick. And she eats louder and more aggressively than anyone I've ever seen, man or beast.

Me: One of my co-workers is eating a muffin that looks so good I think I'm going to leap across the table and snatch it out of her hands. Is it weird if I ask her for a bite?

Josh: Yes Paige, that's weird. Stop asking your co-workers for their food.

*Story time: One day one of my co-workers got chocolate covered strawberries delivered to her from her boyfriend. They were from Edible Arrangements, I'm sure they weren't cheap, and there weren't very many of them. Anyway she offered a strawberry to a girl sitting by me (they were close, and we were not) but crazy pregnant Paige turned around and stared at them until the girl said "Oh! Uh... Do you want a strawberry too?" And then crazy pregnant Paige was like, "Yes please, let me gobble down your birthday present!"*

Me: Josh my co-worker is eating some mystery food that I can't identify and it's making me throw up! I think if I knew what weird food it was I wouldn't be so grossed out. I'm going to try and find out.

Josh: Did you find out what it is yet?

Me: It smells like a spicy shepherd's pie

Josh: Is it?

Me: No, it's fettucini alfredo.

Me: (Picture message of my poop)

Josh: I don't think constipated pregnant ladies should be eating cracklin oat bran

Me: It smells like old tuna fish in here

Josh: Yummm

Me: Old expired tuna fish

Me: Do you think we should teach our baby sign language?

Josh: Why? Are you deaf?

We are teaching Cooper sign language so I won that battle!

Me: Josh I want to hire someone to make me muffins

Josh: How are you going to go about that?

Me: Can I just put an ad on craigslist?

Pregnant white female seeking one muffin maker

Bran muffins preferred

Blueberry muffins forbidden

Me: I think Cooper has fashioned a shiv during his time in confinement and is now using it to jab me in the ribs.

I am going to crawl up my own vaginal canal and put this baby in a straight jacket.

Me: I'm sleepy and I want a cinnamon bear.

And I want a hot dog. I want a hot dog and cinnamon bears.

Me: I smell like a wet washcloth

Me: Oh my gosh Josh I cannot watch this girl like feast on her cranberries. It's like a monkey foraging for fleas on other monkeys.

One day I sneezed and peed my pants at work...

Me: Josh!! I just had to take off my underwear in the bathroom cuz they're soaked! And now I have to work the rest of the day wearing just shorts and no undies!!

Josh: Are you serious?! Go home and change!

Me: No! I only have an hour left and I pretty much pee my pants all the time anyways! I'd have no vacation time left if I went home every time I peed my pants!

Josh: Oh Paige... Do you need me to bring you some underwear?

Josh packed me lunch every day and I guess some days I wasn't as grateful as I should have been...

Me: You said you packed me crackers and that was a dirty rotten lie.

Josh: Oh no! I'm so sorry!

Me: No crackers! And no pickles and no cheese! I just want to go home and cry!

Me: 1. I'm going to die if I don't get scrambled eggs. 2. I want a teardrop trailer!

Josh: We can look at trailers, that'd be fun

Me: What about my eggs????????

No answer

Me: !!!!!

Me: Someone is eating chick fil a and I want to body tackle them and take their chick fil a for my own.

Josh: Poor crazy baby.

Me: So I'm watching grey's anatomy and when I die during childbirth you should move in with your parents to help you with the baby and then when you get settled you can find a nice new wife ok? Just keep your hair trimmed and wear clothes that fit and you shouldn't have a problem.

Josh: Please stop watching medical dramas.

Me: I think I'm going to kill someone if I don't get a cookie in the next few minutes.

No answer

Me: Maybe one of my co workers has a cookie hidden in their desk and then I can create a diversion and search their things and eat their cookie?

Josh: Yeah?

Me: I feel like I can sense there is one near by.

No answer

Me: Found some old Easter candy in an old box of holiday decorations! Score!

Josh: Are you seriously hunting your office for candy?!

Me: Well not anymore.

Josh: Enjoy your spoils.

Me: (Picture message of a dark spot on our couch)

Me: Unfortunately I happened to sneeze while sitting on the couch in my underwear. You can guess the rest.

Me: Did you make a pizza at lunch? Is there any left over?

Josh: Two slices

Me: What kind is it?

Josh: Cheese

Me: Ok I eat it

Me: These are the smallest pieces of pizza I've ever seen!

Josh: Sorry baby

Me: Well I am deciding what to do. I was going to make a pizza but then some girl went to Culver's and I smelled her onion rings and then she gave the rest of her onion rings to this guy that eats a lot and he gets all her extra food and I'm pretty sure I can eat more than he can! So I don't know what to do.

Josh: What?? What are you talking about?? Are you talking about dinner?

Me: Yes dinner. But also that that girl never gives me her extra food.

Me: What'd you eat for lunch?

Me: I drank my diet coke and I've already fallen asleep at work twice.

Josh: Go buy another one at lunch

Me: I don't think that's going to help. I think I need a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart like that dying man on Downton Abbey.

Me: So every day I see this girl's pizza in the fridge and I think man I really want to eat a slice, she might not notice... And then I sit there and look at her pizza for a while. But I think my judgement might be slightly skewed, I should probably not eat her pizza right??

Josh: No pizza

Me: The baby has been scissor kicking my lady parts all day

Me: Everyone else got Rio for lunch and I'm sick of eating my sandwich every day and my feet are cold and I'm super pissed!

Josh: Baby I'm sorry. Let's make larger dinners so you can take them for lunch.

Me: I try to! But we always eat it all! And making dinners makes me really tired and swollen footed and I just want to cry!!

No answer

Me: Josh?

Josh: I'm so sorry baby, I can make dinners. Also what's the plan for tonight?

Me: Well we need to go to the store and get treats.

Me: Every time the baby gets hiccups it feels like my lady parts are in a popcorn popper.

You'd be crazy too if these were your feet!

Guest Post: Rockin' the Stretch Marks

My name is Melissa Turney. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, where it is hot and miserable, but after three years I can finally call it home. I am a wife and a mommy to a three month old daughter, Hannah. I will graduate from UNLV in December and become the first female college graduate on my dad's side of the family. I became acquainted with this blog through Megan, who was my first friend ever, and I've decided to adopt the attitude that I'm pretty awesome (in a completely humble way).


I was recently saddened by a status update from a pseudo friend of mine who is 25 weeks pregnant. She said “_____ told me today that cocoa butter doesn’t work on stretch marks... sad face.” I can’t fully blame her for her dismay. I admit that I, too, had qualms about my post-baby body while I was pregnant, as my body was distorting to epic proportions. But I also recognize that I’ve never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. If pregnancy is wonderful and beautiful, then post-pregnancy is a mess.

Before I had Hannah, I had a pretty average body. I weighed in at about 130 pounds; my boobs were small, but firm; and my skin was all around smooth and stretch free. Naturally as my body changed I became a little self conscious. While I’ve never had to really watch what I eat, I confess it took a while for me to eat fast food in public because I didn’t want to be the girl with the pudgy tummy eating a Big Mac. I didn’t even enter the building to buy any food until I had an obvious baby bump that was obviously not just an extra flab of fat.

My friends told me that it was the coolest thing to give birth and watch your stomach go flat (in reality it is the coolest thing to actually give birth and watch a human come out of you… a human you already love so completely). I was intrigued by this, as I could no longer remember what it was like to NOT have a pregnant body. About thirty minutes after I gave birth (I was a little too occupied with my new daughter to care about my body) I finally looked down to notice my stomach. To my amazement it WAS flat. Hallelujah! Unfortunately, to touch it felt like kneading dough but who could have time to care about that (TOES! HOW I MISSED YOU!) when my body was so small. Well... not quite. I stood up for the first time and my flat stomach became a replica of 4 month pregnant me. Did I miss something? Twins perhaps? Alas, I still looked pregnant when I stood up and let it all hang loose--literally. Not only that, but my body continued to change drastically over the next few weeks. My small but firm boobs had become large and voluptuous during pregnancy. I couldn’t wait to try those babies out after the stomach was gone. Unfortunately, they were still NOT sexy. They were leaking all the time and when they were not large and in charge, they were shriveled and resembled old man breasts.

I have to admit for about a month I didn’t want my husband to see me naked EVER. I didn’t even want to see me naked. The boob situation got worse as I’d lie down and they would flop to their respective sides of my ribcage (lovely), and I had long circular marks stretching across my once taunt stomach. I was not an attractive sight. Then something happened that changed my whole perspective…

I went to church two months after Hannah was born and a woman stood up to the pulpit. She introduced herself and her husband. She talked about how they had been married for five years and had been very blessed in the beginning. They managed to buy a house in a time when the sellers had the upper hand, and decided to start a family in their new home. While they were blessed in almost every aspect in life, they were not conceiving a child--and after over a year of trying they were told that the woman would never carry a baby conceived naturally. They started on fertility treatments. Nothing worked. They went into debt to try costly alternatives and still nothing worked. Finally, they gave up their house in order to do invitro fertilization, and happily, she is expecting a baby girl in February.

I sat there and listened to her story, sobbing as I held my baby close to my imperfect body. That imperfect body had created, carried, and delivered the perfect little angel who now lights up my life. My unattractive breasts now sustain that life through the milk my imperfect body creates. I went home, bound and determined to be grateful for a body that was so perfectly able to conceive with hardly a thought and have a successful, comparatively easy pregnancy. A month after that life changing moment, I still am in awe at my beautiful stretch marks swirling around a body that obviously has accomplished something miraculous. I roll out of bed, pick up my boobs off the floor, and face each day feeling more beautiful than ever, and grateful for the opportunity to be a woman. Grateful to carry the scars of childbirth, the dark circles from a lack of sleep, the lines on my eyes from smiling too much; and grateful for the perspective that I may now share with my daughter when she is feeling less than perfect.