She replied that she bought it for herself, and then she added that she wished she could say it was from her husband...but he really didn't do things like that. I kind of laughed because I understood completely. I confessed my husband isn't really a sentimental jewelry buyer either. "What about your pearl necklace?" She reminded me.
Oh yes. My pearl necklace.
At some point during our first year of marriage, I mentioned to my husband that by our five year anniversary I wanted him to buy me a pearl necklace. I thought I was being pretty fair by laying out my expectation and desire (so I could be properly hurt if he didn't fulfill my wish). Somehow I'd gotten it into my head that the gift of a pearl necklace was the most romantic gesture of pure love a husband could offer (which probably has something to do with the fact the both my mother and grandmother had been gifted a pearl necklace from their spouses).
Well you can imagine my surprise when on our four year anniversary my husband jumped the gun and bought me a pearl necklace. I opened the box, my body teeming with anxiety, and immediately I knew I'd been let down. Pearl necklaces are not all made alike and this one was not what I was expecting. It was cheaply made, stiff, bumpy, discolored in spots...I was devastated. This is what I'd been waiting for?
Like a good person, I didn't let my disappointment show. Especially since he was excited to have surprised me a year earlier than
My husband, being the darling that he is, instead of becoming defensive and angry started saving up for a real pearl necklace. One that would satisfy the whims of his spoiled wife. I opened a beautiful, classic pearl necklace on our fifth anniversary. You might expect the moment would be marred by the memory of my psychosis, but it wasn't. I was extremely grateful and again was reminded of what a sweet man I'd married, who fulfilled my desire (after I'd verbally assaulted him).
Although I had this expectation of a grand romantic gesture, and I still love my pearl necklace to this day, it was not the most romantic thing my husband has ever done for me. Some of those include:
- Picking up dinner on the way home from work so I wouldn't have to make it.
- Carrying me up to bed after I fell asleep on the couch.
- Giving me a couple hours to myself so I could go read in the park with an ice cream while he and our daughters crafted handmade Mother's Day gifts.
- Cleaning the bathrooms before he leaves for work so that my load can be lightened.
- Supporting our family both financially, and emotionally in every way.
So really, it is the little things. Would I turn my nose up at a grand romantic gesture? No, of course not. I'd eat it up in a second. But after nine years together I've come to appreciate the little romantic gestures that he makes on a daily basis to show his love for me, and I hope I'm doing the same. Truth be told, the expectations of my life pale in comparison to the reality of what I've been given. I just didn't know I already had what I wanted.
So Hollywood, you can keep your flowers, chocolates, and diamonds. I'm happy with my man who will scrub toilets, fold laundry, and share a frozen yogurt with me.