Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Why I Hate Running but Do It Anyway


I am not a fan of running. I never really have been. Remember the Presidential Fitness Test in school? Yeah, that wasn’t really my thing. That mile we had to do… I walked it because I didn’t like sweating. I never really did sports, unless you count one season of flag football in 6th grade (yes, you can be a feminist at age 11), and one year of show choir (that’s physical activity, right?). So, a few years ago, when I decided to give the Couch to 5K program a try you could say I was less than enthused, but still amazingly, defying all odds, motivated.

Somehow that early interval training (I can say that now, because, you now, I’m a “runner” and all…) turned into running a different 5K every month for a 12 months, which turned into logging 3 miles every day for a month (and, can I just tell you, that was a really cold April around here...ice + me running = giggles for anyone who happened to be watching), which turned into conquering a 10K (over six miles, which kind of blew my mind), and, this October, a half marathon (that’s right, over 13 flipping miles). I’m not bragging, I promise (you would know this if you could see me “run”), and I certainly didn’t do it all overnight (it’s been about 3 years so far). I’m kind of astounded and mostly surprised. Running hasn’t completely transformed my life; it hasn’t made me a runway model; it hasn’t always been a constant, either. I’ve messed up. I’ve taken breaks that were intended to only be a week off...which morphed into a couple of months off (stupid winter...and my hatred of treadmills and running inside)...

But I do it anyway because it makes me feel stronger. It provides time to focus on nothing or to let my mind process what’s happening in my life. I don’t feel winded going up and down stairs or hills. My digestion is better (who knew?!). Most importantly, I know that I can accomplish goals--even in realms that aren’t my forte.

So I’m going to keep setting goals.

What activities do you do that you don’t necessarily love, but that help you love yourself more? 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Goals: Keeping it Simple

Even though the summer is coming to an end (sadly), fall can be a time for new beginnings. Some friends and I recently carpooled up to another friend’s wedding, and, as car conversations tend to do, we hit on a lot of topics.

On the way home from the reception we began talking about goals. I posed these three questions to the group: What is one goal you have professionally, one goal personally, and one goal that falls in another realm (whether it be spiritually, otherworldly, energy you put into the world, or some other realm I don’t yet know, etc.)?

So often we have these internalized goals or expectations for ourselves. Sometimes it is easy to get overwhelmed, set too many, and have things turn to negative self-talk. Or even simply have those goals fall away because they’ve slipped your mind. By verbalizing just 3 goals (that’s it--just the 3, no more), and discussing them with friends, it made it seem more achievable, more real, and it just might make us all more accountable as we move forward.

What would your 3 goals (professional, personal, and spiritual/other) be?

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Possibilities


"Rather than starting your day with a stressful list of things you have to do,
 try greeting the day with a joyful list of things you want to do!"

When I make a to-do list for the day, I usually title it "Possibilities". Then I include things I want to do along with the things I need to do. 
Here's my list for today:

Possibilities
-grocery shopping
-clean bathrooms
-babysit 3-6
-crochet (I'm working on a blanket)
-work on newsletter
-make dinner
-read book
-write blog post!

There's a good chance I won't get around to cleaning the bathroom today, but it's just a possibility, so if it's not done, there is always tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Confessions of a Screen Addict


I always swore I would never get a smart phone.

I don't have anything against smart phones. I think they're neat. I like playing Fruit Ninja and Pudding Monsters and Toca Band. I think it's cool that people can answer my emails without actually having to go to their computers. (Side note: the first time one of my professors sent me an email "sent from my iPhone" when I was in college, it blew my mind a little bit. Why on earth was my professor answering me when she was clearly not sitting at her desk during working hours? But I digress.)

My problem with smart phones is actually just my personal problem with being a screen addict. Even with just a laptop I checked facebook and my email more than is strictly necessary for anyone who isn't an extremely narcissistic teenager. And seriously, do you know what I get in my email? About a million different mailers from companies who have my email address because I entered a contest on facebook by signing up for their email list. All of which I delete without reading. And yet.

But then my baby drooled on my faux-Blackberry with no actual features, and I had to get a new one, and honestly, the smart phones were just neat and not that expensive compared to the really terrible flip phones and . . . well, there you have it.

Which is great except that I am a stay-at-home mom, and sometimes my days get a little boring because I spend them with someone who doesn't talk yet, and I need someone to talk to. Plus, I take about a million pictures of her a day, and it seems a shame not to show them to people - message them to my mom, upload them to Instagram and Facebook, make a collage of her eating bananas, etc. (My life. It is one big roller coaster of excitement.)

Which brings us to my screen-free week challenge a few weeks ago. I set very specific rules for myself, and honestly, it started out great. On Sunday, after a nice day of spending time with my family, going to church, cooking a nice dinner and putting the baby to bed, Eric and I played Zombie Fluxx, followed by a round of Scrabble where, because they were on our minds, we got extra points for words that could be linked to zombies.


Can you find "eater," "alone," "meaty," "ax," "goon," and other words that got me extra zombie points?


And on Monday, I cleaned my house while my baby was napping, because I wasn't getting sucked into reading some article someone posted on Facebook while I was "making sure she was asleep." And I cleaned faster because I didn't have Netflix going on the iPad! I did laundry! I did dishes! I mopped the floor! I baked bread! The angels rejoiced! When the baby was awake, we went and played in the grass and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine. All was good in the world.

And then a cold front came in on Tuesday and we were stuck inside for the rest of the week. Of course.

By about Wednesday, it was starting to get a little old. I was sneaking a few extra looks at Facebook while I was nursing the baby. I was looking completely unnecessary things up on Wikipedia. (Yes, this children's book that Eric brought home from the thrift shop because of the illustrations WAS written by James Carville the political strategist! What do you mean I could have just gotten out the CD player and listened to the reading to see if it was him?) I was sick of my Pandora stations. (Okay, people need to stop making recordings of Les Mis. You can't listen to a Broadway-themed station (especially when your tastes in musicals tend the way mine do) without hearing "One Day More" about 14,000 times from every different recording.) I was out of podcasts (which I figured I could listen to when I set the phone aside, because that totally worked). And on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, my husband was gone late because he was filming a conference of green dentists. (Do you know how bad dentistry can be for the environment? Apparently it's really bad.) Thursday I was a good girl and read Watership Down while I waited for him to get home at 10:30. But by Friday I was just lonely, and it was quiet, and the rabbits were talking about something boring with a seagull, and I caved. I watched an episode of The West Wing while I ate dinner. I scrolled through pictures of my baby on my phone. I looked at Facebook without commenting on anything in the hopes that no one would notice I'd been online.

Just writing it out like this, I feel a little like I am confessing that I am a crack addict.

I really enjoyed limiting my screen time for the first few days. I felt liberated. I accomplished more. I was happier. I just haven't figured out how to translate it all into my every day life except to say that apparently I need more to do than clean my house and play with my baby, because once the house is clean, I need some interaction, and it doesn't always feel like I can just run over to a neighbor's house for it.

BUT. When the weather is good, CB and I go outside and sit in the sun where I can't see my smartphone screen. And sometimes a neighbor comes and talks to us, and sometimes we just look at grass and bugs and feel the wind and check the mail and try to keep CB from eating the mail. So maybe that's a start.

Melissa felt inspired by my goal, probably because she hadn't talked to me yet. Here are her thoughts about her experience, which seems remarkably similar to mine.


Melissa: 

Inspired by Meg’s endeavor, I too decided to participate in a Screen Free week. I mostly wanted to do it for the sake of my children. My three year old has an affinity for my iPod and my husband’s Nexus tablet. She can also peruse Netflix with the best of them. I’ll admit, I have used the TV or other screens as a babysitter so that I could shower, clean, cook, or fall into an exhausted stupor. In fact, I’m doing it right now as I write this with my kids beside me, watching Doc McStuffins.

I decided I needed to prepare my family because it was going to come as a huge blow to them, except apparently it really wasn’t. I told my oldest daughter that we were doing a screen free week and she was pretty stoked. Sure, the removal of screens would be hard at first (she thought it was because she was in trouble) but she was looking forward to playing more and reading more and talking more. She became the screen police, watching me every time I’d text message someone ("A phone has a screen, Mom!").

Was our week a success? Yes and no. I failed in that we didn’t make it 24/7 without the aid of a screen. On Friday my husband went out of town for three days and I just HAD to hand over my iPod a few times, or turn on a movie because being a single mom for a weekend was too exhausting (it also made me appreciate actual single mothers). 

This week opened my eyes to how often I actually defer to a screen. I take my kids to the park three or four times a week. We go to the library and Discovery Museum at least once during the week. We also do some sort of play date or something or other at some point. I’m not entirely neglectful, but I find when I’m not schlepping my children off to some adventure, much of our down time takes place in front of a screen.


I also realized that a huge part of life plays out online. It’s great to be nostalgic and long for the days of face to face interaction, but who would I experience that kind of life with if most people are socializing on Facebook?

Meg: I confess that I give technology the power to take over my life more often than I should. I confess that even though this experience was eye-opening for me, I still do. But I also confess that it fills me with so much joy that my baby loves flipping through books and playing outside more than she likes playing with my phone right now, and I'd like to keep it that way, so I'm going to keep fighting my addiction.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Follow That Dream


 Has anyone ever seen that Elvis movie?  I haven't.  It's just in my DVD collection.  My husband likes it...

So I was watching "Boy Meets World" while my children napped (ah, relaxation!) and it's the episode where Eric becomes a weather man.  *SPOILER ALERT* Turns out he can either be a weather man or graduate from high school.  He talks about how it was always his dream to be a weather man.
I started to think about my dreams, what I always wanted in my life.  Here's my list:

-Graduate (high school and college)
-Get a good job that was fun
-Fall in love
-Get married
-Create a home
-Have children

Those were the big highlights.  Well, I'm 26, and I have accomplished all of my list.  Done, fin. So now what?  I feel a little silly, being an adult and trying to come up with new dreams.  What now?  I have the most wonderful husband (THANKS MEGAN!), 2 gorgeous children, a great home, a degree, and I turned down 2 different job offers in my chosen profession-HR, feel free to laugh and make funny faces, you wouldn't be the first.  Are you ever too old to dream?  Too old to come up with new goals?  I never imagined myself at this point.  I always thought that dreams were life long, that you had them, and they never ended.  But how exciting is this?!?  I have already accomplished so much, and now I can come up with a whole new set of goals. Goals are really just dreams written down, right?  I want to run a 5k, I want to grow a garden, I want to take my children to see magnificent places, I want to get old with my husband, and play with my grandkids, I want to go on a mission for my church, I want to do whatever I want!  Make your dreams monumental, you can do it!  Dream whatever you want, and then do it. Follow that dream :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Like Brushstrokes in a Portrait


I have a propensity to set large and elaborate goals for myself. Currently, I’m working on a list: 30 before 30. Which is exactly what it sounds like, 30 goals to accomplish before my 30th birthday, two and a half years from now. 

In the past, most, if not all of the goals I have set are forgotten within weeks. I look through journals I wrote in high school, all filled with unfulfilled albeit worthy aspirations.  Had I stuck with every goal I’d ever set out to fulfill, by now I would probably be a bilingual journalist, living in a foreign country running marathons. I would know magic, be filled with historical knowledge, dabbling in paleontology, and occasionally I’d be seen on stage. Sounds impressive right? As it so happens that is not an accurate description of my life. I got so caught up in the failure of my attempts, or the effort it took to achieve my lofty goals, that I would give up entirely. Lets face it, its just easier not to try. 

In the past year or so, I've noticed a change occurring. Most of the goals I now set are achieved. Most likely this change has occurred because of age and maturity. I also have a new attitude and perspective.  What I've learned that makes the most difference is: Be patient with yourself, and enjoy the journey. 

About four and a half years ago, fueled with good intentions I decided I would run a grand, full scale marathon. This was a pretty lofty goal, considering I'd never run a mile in my life. Not even when it was required of me for a grade at school. One day, for whatever reason I decided I was a marathoner. I put on some running shoes and ran out the door. Boy I was tired. I finished quickly (I don't know if I made it down the street) and came back home. I tried again a few days later. Maybe this isn’t what I really wanted. After a few weeks, my short lived desire to run a marathon was abandoned.

Flash forward to one and a half children later. My second pregnancy pushed my body to the limit. I determined somewhere around month 7 that if I ever made it to delivery, I would become a runner. I would actually start to appreciate my body for all it could do. If I could create a human being, I could certainly run. This time I decided to make a plan. I dedicated time, I gained knowledge, and when my baby was born, I began working on my goal. Things were slow at first. I started using the couch to 5k program. One of my friends began running with me. Four months after I began running, I ran my first 5k in 26 minutes.  I actually enjoyed running once I decided that I didn't need to be an elite runner the second I decided to lace up my shoes.
Right before my first 5k

Eventually I increased my mileage and last November, I completed my first half marathon. It was a full year from the time I started the couch to 5k to the half. The feeling of accomplishment was much greater than if it had been an easy undertaking. I found joy in the work, in the failure, in the try. I learned that my body can do hard things, my running partner became one of my closest friends, I learned to push myself to the limit, I learned that I can literally talk myself into enduring the run long after I assumed my body would give out. I keep going.

 David A. Bednar describes our efforts in life like a painting. Close up, the brush strokes don’t always makes sense, but as you step back and look at the painting as a whole, you can see how each stroke you make contributes to the portrait of our soul.


Each time I made the effort to put on my shoes and hit the pavement  my confidance grew, as well as my strenght and endurance. Becoming consistant, changing my habits little by little changed my perspective and my ability. This is true of any skill we hope to develop, whether its mastering a language, perfecting a craft, or just adjusting our character. 

Be patient with yourself. Each time you try, you put paint on your canvas.  When all is said and done, step back and look at the completed portrait of who you have become. Everything worth accomplishing is worth the time, effort, and fail. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

5 Ways to Own Your Finances

Don't forget today is the last day to enter our giveaway!

Okay, okay. I know that finances don't typically fall into the category of loveliness. Bear with me.

My husband and I are aren't bad with money. We've never had any debt except a little student loan debt and a small moving-related setback right after we got married. But we also haven't managed to save a whole lot, and since our main current source of income was until recently commission-based rather than salaried, it could sometimes be a little nerve-wracking waiting for the next paycheck to come, especially when some months it might still not be enough.

But I'm telling you, our family started the first budget that we've really stuck to in a long time, and it feels lovely. Here are some of the things that have really helped us cut down our unnecessary spending and get money in savings for the first time in our two years of marriage. (Note: some of the things we've been doing were inspired by Brain Ford's 8 Pillars of Financial Greatness. It is awesome.)

  1. Base your budget on the things you value most. If you value your family, travel, and staying out of debt, why would you spend your money on cars you can't afford, too much fast food, and expensive electronics? Sit down with your family, make a list of the things you value most, and then look at what you spend your money on. You will probably be shocked at how much you spend on things you actually don't care about at all, and how quickly little nothing purchases eat away at your money. Our list of values looked something like this (except there were a bunch more): 
    • Family - future and extended (i.e. having enough money to meet our obligations to current and future kids, and being able to visit our family in other states)
    • Security - having a place to live and a reliable car, being able to afford food and gas and stay out of debt
    • Relationships - being able to spend time together and build memories (vacations, date nights, fun outings together, etc.)
    • Health - being able to pay for insurance so we can go to the doctor if necessary; being able to eat healthy foods
    • Etc.
    Once we saw our values written out, it was easy to make some choices that had been hard before. For example, I wanted to use our tax return to buy a new computer, but when I really thought about what I valued, I realized I'd rather wait on the computer and instead put aside some savings so we can afford to have more kids, and so we can go to visit family in Texas this summer.
  2. Establish an emergency fund. It doesn't have to be huge at first, but you should consistently add to it, and you shouldn't touch it except in an emergency. Your TV going out in the middle of football season is probably not an emergency. Your furnace going out in the middle of winter is. If you have an emergency fund, you don't have to go into debt when your car breaks down or you find out you have twelve cavities, and you don't have to lose your financial momentum (especially if you're paying off debt) or destroy your budget to take care of it. You have the money saved, you pay for your emergency and carry on with your life. We had a large tax refund this year and put $1000 nest egg in our emergency fund, which made me feel awesome.
  3. If you can't figure out why your money disappears so fast, switch to cash and debit cards instead of credit cards. Credit cards are convenient, and some people pay them off at the end of each month and just use them to get rewards without going into debt, which is fine. (Using them to buy things you can't afford so you end up paying twice what the thing cost in the first place is probably a bad idea though.) That said, there is definitely a switch that goes off in your head when you have to hand the cashier $50 in cash. It will make you think about everything you add to the cart. (I kid you not, we have put back a bag of sausages before or decided not to buy olive oil until next week just because we have our grocery budget in cash. Maybe it's silly that we walk through the grocery store going, "$43.50! $47! $51!," but we stick to our budget.) We pull out our money for our groceries, gas and discretionary funds at the beginning of the month, and we don't spend any more than that on those things, even if we have it in our bank account.
  4. If you share finances with someone else, you should each have a discretionary fund. There are things you want to buy that your partner doesn't care about. There are things your partner spends money on that you think are stupid. Establish a certain small amount each month that you can each spend without feeling like you need to justify it to your partner, and without feeling guilty about spending your family's money. Budgets feel a little like diets sometimes, and diets always go better if you get to eat some of the things you love even though you're cutting back overall. Having a discretionary fund will make you feel less stifled by your budget (so you won't suddenly splurge in revolt), but it will also make you aware of what you're spending on little purchases here or there. Because we take that money out in cash, we can also save it if we want to make a bigger purchase for ourselves, and it doesn't end up getting spent on something for the kids or the car. Last month I bought a couple of t-shirts for myself at the beginning of the month, a couple of treats for myself and my husband somewhere in the middle, and went out to lunch and to Old Navy with a friend at the end of the month. I didn't have to worry about whether I was spending money we didn't have because it was mine, and it had already been figured into the budget. 
  5. Automate your budget as much as possible. A lot of your monthly bills will let you set things up so you can have them automatically deducted from your checking account. In the same manner, you can (gasp!) have money pulled directly from your paycheck into various savings accounts - then you don't even have to look at it when it comes in - you just start assuming you have less money to spend, until that day when you have lots of money to spend, on something neat like a house down payment. We have all of our monthly bills (utilities, student loans, insurance, etc.) deducted automatically from our account, plus we transfer money from each paycheck into different savings accounts: one for emergencies, one for travel, one for our next baby (so we don't have to spend nine months paying the next one off like we did with the first one.) 
Being aware of your finances is not a drag. It's liberating when you start to realize you can save a little money and you aren't panicked when the bills come in each month. It might not happen all at once, but no matter how much money you make, having good financial habits will make you feel more in control of your life. And that is lovely.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Confessions of a Kitchen Klutz: How it Began



Editor's note: this is the first in what will be a series of Kitchen Klutz stories from Zaissa, as part of our larger Confessions series. Enjoy!

If it couldn't be microwaved, ordered, or pushed through a little window into our car, we didn't need it. That was our family motto when I was growing up. Our family was made up of an only child and a single mother, so logistically, this was reasonable.

So by the time I left home, my entire cooking repertoire consisted of this:  I could make really good cheesy scrambled eggs.

My other impediment to cooking is that I have a rebellious sort of character. Unfortunately it's paired with the fact that my only real passion is laziness. The result of which is that I am laziness revolutionary; the sort of person who would throw a pot away if scrubbing it were going to require more than 10 minutes of real shoulder work, which occasionally is a problem with really good cheesy scrambled eggs.

Rebellious and passionately lazy people are willing to rebelliously cut corners at great personal or financial risk. We will even put our dignity on the line if, in the end, we think there is a chance the gain is that we will have to do less stuff we don’t like doing.  This disposition sometimes has interesting results when following a recipe.

Over the last few years, as part of this adventure I embarked on called “learning to cook and bake things people will eat” I have made some discoveries about which corners can and which corners absolutely cannot be cut.

But I have gotten ahead of myself. I am going to go back to the beginning of it all.

As a young newlywed I was a full time student, with a full time job, and I was planning on a full time career. I warned him I would not learn to cook. And, this worked fine for the duration of my first marriage. We remained childless for a good while and when we were blessed with the pitter-patter of little feet, it was just the one set of them. And she was a huge fan of cereal, fruit, and cheesy scrambled eggs.

However, for non-kitchen related reasons (I assume) I found myself divorced and on my own at 30.

I had a lovely little apartment that had plush carpet, and a large—and, I am told, full of first-rate appliances—kitchen of my own. I had, other than my own, only one mouth to feed, which I did well enough with fresh sliced veggies, fruits, cereal, a little lunch meat and bread, and of course, cheesy eggs.

Fast forward once more, I am happy to report the opportunity to live in wedded bliss with my soulmate enticed me away from my plush carpet and large, to me at the time, useless kitchen. In a whirlwind, the mouth count went up by one tiny perfect mouth. And just as we were recovering from the shock, we learned it would be going up by yet another.

My mother, who lived in another state, called me one day, while I was home and about to burst out my third child into the world, and  suggested, as she had multiple times before, that fast food was not going to cut it forever with a family of soon-to-be five, and that for the health of all of them and myself, I needed to learn to prepare meals at home, and probably buy groceries too, and she also suggested I get a haircut, because evidently in my most recent blog post of family photos I was looking “kind of ragged.”

I believe that with this phone call though, she was staging an intervention.

She demanded I go to the kitchen and get a casserole pan of some specified size. I snapped a photo on my cell phone of a long, rectangular, glass bowl thing I found in the cupboard that I had had for years and I text messaged the image to her. She said it would do.

Then she told me to turn on the oven to some temperature, which I did, after checking inside of it, where at that point in my life I sometimes stored things like extra plates or cups that didn’t fit any place else.

As instructed I then opened the freezer and found the meat she assured me she put in there on her last visit. For about 30 minutes I read the names of spices I had on hand (though had no idea where they came from) and chopped and arranged things into the pan as instructed, step-by-step. I did things with tin foil, and seasoning, and spoons until she instructed me to put the pan in the oven. And set the timer.

And when it beeped, from the oven came something I had never (ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever) pulled from the oven before. It was a family meal. For a while, I think my husband and I just stared at it. Of course we had had proper meals before, each of us, him at home growing up, and me, at extended family occasions – but never with our little family, not in our little home.

Something about that moment lit a spark. I think it must be akin to what a young wizard feels at Hogwarts on his first day if his first spell works. Like, he’s seen this stuff before, sure, but actually making it is, well, magic. And the first time you perform magic is, even if you live in a world where it’s all around you, nothing shy of empowering … titillating … amazing!

And so it began. I resolved that I would become competent—nay, GREAT in the kitchen.

My first attempt at cookies was days later. Without technical support from my mother by phone the attempt ended with these little mounds that were kinda heavy and exploded into a sugary dust upon impact of any surface they were propelled at. It turned out, that particular use was the most enjoyment anyone got out of them.

I’ve gotten better.

I have made some terrifying mistakes along the way.

Sometimes my shortcuts pay off.

Substitution has often been the mother of invention.

 I have learned some hard lessons.

And I have made some hard pastries. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Guest Post, Lis: No Quick Fixes

Another lovely guest post from Miri's sister-in-law, Lis:


We made a goal a couple weeks ago (I made it and my husband went along with it) to have a home-cooked meal every night and to exercise at least three times that week. We actually do this quite frequently, but strangely enough, it was harder when I made a goal to do it than when we just do it.

It seems like a goal is harder to keep up with than a habit. It's starting to become a habit for me to go to the gym a couple times a week, and we were already cooking at home a lot; but when I forced myself to do it, I found that I kind of pushed back against myself.


I think goals are harder because they're a change from the normal, and people generally are very resistant to change and to having to do something new. When it's just a normal habit, it's a lot easier. When someone (even ourselves) makes us do something, we don't want to. We want to do things when we want to.


So I decided I need to be careful about my goals in the future--just decide I want to do them, but not set too specific boundaries. That way I won't be forcing myself against my own will and won't be disappointed if I don't accomplish the goal. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it makes for a much less stressful week.


I think the word "goal" is like the word "diet"--it now has a slightly negative connotation (as in people don't want to think about the stress of reaching their goals). We need to have a lifestyle change, not a one-time fix. The trick is getting from goal to habit. Thoughts are very powerful, and if I want to change, I need to think about it and decide to be the person I want to be, not just do the actions.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Improvement

I rambled a bit about this subject on my personal blog and felt inspired to share a word or two here as well.


A lot has changed in my life over the past few months, mostly (thank goodness) for the better (it was about time). For the last two years, things had basically shut down. I didn't have a job, I didn't have money, I was not happy, I was stressed all the time and, when I wasn't looking for a job or doing whatever I could to earn some money, I loafed. My mind and my soul were overloaded with stress and fear and doubt and worry; there was no room for progression or forward thinking. I lived in the moment, day by day, doing the best I could.


But now that's different. That was how I coped so I could keep on keeping on and it worked when it needed to work, but now I get to cope with good things. The stress and worry are still there to some extent (I have a lot of bills to catch up on, people, those never go away), but I am so much happier. Not only was I lucky enough to find a job, it's a job I actually like and I'm good at it and I work with people I like and choose to spend time with outside of work. That's a huge deal. My finances, social life and career all took a turn for the better with one little job.


So. This time last year, I was telling myself that "everything is going to be alright" and now that things are alright (or headed that way), I'm focused on improvement. It's time to start progressing! Onward and upward! Keep moving forward! *Insert your favorite catchy, motivating slogan here*!


I'm choosing to go to the gym and diet (because it's about time). I've never been one to go to the gym (sweat. ugh.), but it's never too late to start. Since I'm going to the gym and dieting, I am also going to be saving the money I would spend on new clothes and eating out (and also pretty books and frivolous things) to pay off some of the debt one tends to acquire while unemployed. Once my credit cards are cleaner and my waist line is smaller, then I can shop (because hopefully I will NEED to shop for pants that don't fall off). So the library and the gym will be my new best friends.


These are lofty goals, I know, but it feels so good to have made them. I'm not a resolution kind of girl, but mostly because I think the term is equated with failure (who EVER keeps a New Years resolution? Who?!), so these will be my improvements for the year. I don't expect to be a size 2 with zero debt by Christmas 2011, but I do expect to see some improvement from month to month and I know it will relieve some of the stress and worry in my life.


So what will you be improving on this year?

Friday, February 26, 2010

"Don't think about what you can't do, think about what you can do!" --Ni Hao, Kai-Lan

"The older you get, the more you become aware of the things you can't change and the things you can change. Like, do I want to take a year off and travel around the world? Sure! Can I do that? No. [So] what can you do?" --Teri Hatcher

I saw this interview with Teri Hatcher in a friend's copy of People magazine. She was talking about the triathlon in which she participated last September--when she asked herself, "what can you do," the triathlon was the answer. I won't pretend I'm a huge fan of Teri Hatcher, but I think she makes an excellent point here.

Most of us have lists of things we want to accomplish, and sometimes those things are pretty ambitious (like taking a year off to travel around the world). I'm not saying that those things can't be accomplished, and you should definitely not let pessimism stand in the way of getting to do amazing things. But maybe they're justnot the most practical goals for us right now. That doesn't mean that we can't still be doing something worthwhile!

A former roommate's husband wrote a blog post recently that echoes my own feelings about New Year's resolutions (but of course this is applicable to all goals, not just the New Year's ones). Like Teri Hatcher, he points out that sometimes goals need to be smaller--or be broken up into smaller pieces--to be achievable. Instead of getting discouraged by huge goals that seem unattainable, try thinking about something you can do right now, or in the near future, and work toward that. Setting and achieving smaller goals can make it a lot easier to get to those big ones, and in the meantime you'll be getting to do great things.

(In case you're interested, the title of this post comes from an episode of Ni Hao, Kai-Lan in which the kids are disappointed because it started raining, so they can't go outside and do the things they were going to do that day. I know, I know... I'm that cool.)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dream Big

I've never really known what I wanted to do with my life, aside from wanting to be a mother. I've always known that it would happen for me, but I never knew it would take so long. In the meantime, I still don't really have a clue as to what I will do. I just do the best I can with what I have. I have a college degree and I have years of experience as a secretary/administrative assistant and I enjoy that work. It's good, solid work (when I actually can get hired) and I generally don't dread the week. But I am certainly not passionate about it. I don't look to file things in my spare time and I don't dream of the excitement of scheduling meetings and transcribing legal documents. I am passionate about art. I am passionate about creating things. I am passionate about taking something and turning it into something else, something better, something useful.

I found this quote* from Danica Patrick (a famous race-car driver):

Set your sights as far out as you can dream, then as you grow up you will have a solid goal that will guide you up the ladder of success. Find something that you love to do and you are good at, and make a career of it. I believe that the way you get to the top is to have such a passion for something that you are willing to do anything. It's a tough road, and if you don't have the heart and desire, then you'll be tempted to give up along the way. The only difference between one person and the next is how bad you want it.

My first thought when I read this was about the "as you grow up" part. I think there are several points in our lives where it would be easy to label yourself as "grown up." You could stop and be happy with where you are and what you are doing. Maybe you achieved your dream and now you are living it. I think my struggle comes in that I don't really believe we stop growing up and I don't really believe in having one dream. There is always something to build on, something to improve upon. If you achieve one dream, who says you can't start pursuing another? My ultimate goal in this life is to be happy. I don't want to waste my time doing anything that takes away from my happiness. I want to find a way to turn the things I'm passionate about into a career, something I can do that will make me truly happy, something that I can do while I am working in an office (secretary by day, crafting extraordinaire by night!), and most importantly, something I will be proud to share with my children.

The key is to not let anything stand in your way. Don't get discouraged if people aren't supportive, just prove those people wrong. If you want it bad enough and if you work hard enough, as long as you are pursuing the good things that make you happy, then you will be successful and you can do it time and time again.

*Taken from Exactly As I Am by Shaun Robinson