Tuning out the Stupidity

Sometimes the world just makes me want to pound my head into my desk repeatedly. Not over anything big or important. Mostly over stupidity. And that’s when I remember that I need to step back, unplug from the internet and all the stupid things people post, tune out the awfulness of the local and national news, pretend that email doesn’t exist, and remember to live. It’s amazing what simply taking a breath can do. It doesn’t fix the world’s problems, but it does help me remember to be a person. I can start to think about real things like goals, the future, the people I love. That doesn’t mean I ignore everything all the time, but even just 5 minutes away can help.

What helps you step back from it all? What are the important things that come to the surface when you’re able to tune out all the stupidity?

My priorities, your priorities.

Not too long ago, I read a friend's lament on Facebook that she did not have more time in her life to read. Ever the advocate for anyone and everyone to get as much reading in their lives as possible, I was all ready to jump in with my suggestions of several things she could give up every so often so as to have more time to read. You know, non-essential things like making the bed or getting dressed or doing the dishes...

There I was, fingers poised over my keyboard, when all of a sudden a thought struck me- this woman is most likely already very aware that if she left the dinner dishes in the sink one night she could get a good hour of reading in before bed. For whatever reason, however, she chooses not to do that. For her, it isn't worth it. I regularly let dishes languish in my sink in favor of a book, but that's just me.

I am not entirely sure why this was such a revelation to me, but it was: I read as much as I do because it is fairly high on my priority list. People who don't read as much as they would like do so because there are other things that rank higher on their priority list. And that's okay! Put another way, my friend gets her dishes done each evening and enjoys the peace and beauty of a clean kitchen because it ranks up there at the top of her priority list. I, on the other hand, do not get to my dishes every night and yes, that fact bugs me, but not enough to change my ways. And that is also okay!

Life is full of things that we simply do not have the time or energy to do or sometimes even care about. It is sad, but true. Thus was born the concept of priorities. We must pick and choose what we can get done in a day and we must pick and choose what we will most care about. Some things must fall by the wayside and we have to be okay with that.

Perhaps more importantly, however- we must also be okay with the things that our friends and loved ones let fall by the wayside...even if that thing is reading.

A Theory

I've been trying to figure out what the deal is with human beings and our obsession with appearances. My current philosophy is that looks are completely unimportant, and I have been doing a lot of work to make myself believe it. It's been great--I've actually lost weight, and when people ask me what I've been doing my only answer is, "I stopped caring about losing weight." I really love being able to say that and have it be true.


Yet our reliance on appearances seems to be such a natural part of us that it makes me wonder. For the most part, our natural instincts are there to keep us safe: Physical pain warns us away from something that can hurt us, the gag reflex helps expel harmful things from our stomachs. The instinct to judge based on looks seems to be innate--so does this mean that it isn't wrong? Is this instinct actually something we should use?


I will be honest here--I really don't want to believe that. First impressions of people are often completely wrong, especially when those impressions are based only on physical appearance. Thousands of years of evolution aside, the fact is that human beings are rotten at understanding people based on a look. (For reference, please see every movie ever made about a tough guy--or girl--who looks mean but turns out to be sensitive and emotional because their hard exterior is just a defense mechanism .)


Anyway. I don't know the answer to this question, but I have one theory. 


My family's holistic doctor, Dr. Einsohn, tells us that we should be grateful for the most awful, difficult people in our lives because without them, we couldn't grow in whatever specific way they will force us to grow. Maybe this obsession with appearances is like that--a great obstacle that is part of our test, and we're meant to learn to overcome it. 


What do you think? Any other theories?

A Philosophy of Life

One Sunday when I was in high school, a Sunday School teacher gave an object lesson involving a jar full of rocks. I found a handout from that lesson the other day when going through some old school things, and I was struck by how the simplest concepts can sometimes slip past us until someone points them out.


A professor stood in front of his class with a jar full of rocks. He held up the jar and asked the students if they thought it was full; they said yes. He took a box of small pebbles and poured them into the jar, and they slid in around the rocks. The class laughed.


Then the professor picked up a box of sand, and as he poured it into the jar, the sand filled in all the empty spaces. 


"This jar is like your life," he said. "The rocks are the important things--your family, your partner, your health, your children--anything so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.

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"The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, and your car.


"The sand is everything else: The small stuff. If you put the sand in the jar first, there's no room for anything else; but if you start with the rocks, everything fits.


"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your wife out dancing. Call your parents just to say hello. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, and fix the disposal.


"Take care of the rocks first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."