Mortified (Or, How to Deal With People Who Suck)

It was the day after my 12th birthday party. I was riding high from a successful slumber party and the consumption of a giant, Costco-sized tub of Laffy Taffy candy that someone had given me as a birthday present. Needless to say, I was feeling good.

My two older sisters had a marching band competition that day, so we took a family trip to the stadium to watch the proceedings. My parents were volunteering with the band, which left me in the stands to watch over my two younger sisters. I was twelve now. I could totally handle the responsibility.

We had a great time, my sisters and I. We cheered, we huddled together for warmth, we talked about how hilarious it would be to switch seats and watch how freaked out our parents would get when they came back to get us... Somehow, we made 6-straight hours of sitting on a metal bench fun.

After every few bands performed, the Powers That Be would give themselves (and, by extension, us) a break to...I don't know, do whatever marching band competition judges do when they aren't watching marching bands. Us schlubs in the stands would get up, shake it out, get something to eat. Whatever. I was twelve and had just spent all my babysitting money on cheap plastic earrings from Claire's, so, being penniless, my sisters and I generally stayed put and fidgeted during these breaks.

About halfway through the day, a longer break than usual was introduced. A couple people in the family sitting in front of us got up to do whatever people do when they aren't sitting on a cold metal bench. Seizing the opportunity to stretch out for a bit, I put my feet up on the now empty bench in front of me, not really giving it another thought.

Until the family come back.

The little girl and her father hadn't even walked all the way up to their bench yet when all of a sudden the woman sitting next to where my shoes were resting turned and poured her entire big-gulp-sized cup of ice cold Coke on my feet.

What. The. [Beeeeeep].

I was mortified. I jerked my feet away and tried to avoid my sisters' very confused, staring eyes, as they watched me to find out how exactly they should be reacting. But how was I supposed to know how to react?! I wasn't the grown-up in this situation. I was a child! An apparently rather sheltered child who had never encountered a grown-up who would pour cold soda on someone's feet for no reason. 

Her (I am assuming) husband gave her a strange look and and asked her why she just did that. She just shrugged and said, "Her feet were in [insert the name of their daughter]'s seat."

WHAT THE CRAP, WOMAN. Who does that?!

The father and daughter apparently agreed that this was an acceptable reaction to the situation, because, with not a word to me, they proceeded to take their [now Coke-covered] seats and resumed whatever it was they were doing before all this happened. I sat, face flaming, staring straight ahead, and somehow made it through the rest of the competition in one piece. With ice cold Coke soaked feet. In October.

I am thirty years old now, but the eighteen years that have passed have yet to fully erase the feelings I felt that day. Even now, as I type out what happened, so many feelings are bubbling up. Mortification. Anger. Confusion. Sorrow

Although, having grown up a bit and realized just how crazy that lady was, anger seems to be the presiding feeling today.

Are y'all asking yourselves why I would revisit this moment from my long-gone past? Well I have been thinking about it a lot lately because it was the first time I encountered what I considered to be a mean person (like I said. Sheltered child). Unfortunately for me, it was not the last time, but you know what? We can't avoid it. We can't avoid them. Sometimes people just suck and they pour Coke on kids' feet and they don't care. 

So today, I am sharing this story with you all to put it to bed. I am accepting the fact that I am going to encounter many of Coke lady's friends throughout my life and there 'aint nothin' I can do about it. Except move on. So this is me moving on.

But just so we are clear- heaven help anyone who tries to pour Coke on my or, just you dare, my child's feet. My new zen acceptance of sucky people can only stretch so far.

Truths Learned from Matlock

I usually tell my friends that I'm an 80 year-old trapped in the body of a 30 year-old. Mostly this is based on my taste in television (Matlock, 60 Minutes, CBS Sunday Morning, Antiques Roadshow, old Britcoms that air on Public Television) and my proclivity for saying "I'm too old for that" and then deciding to stay in at home rather than get dressed up to go out and do whatever the young folks do these days (did I mention I'm actually 80?).  

Growing up, one of my favorite shows was, and still remains, Matlock. You really can't beat a sassy Andy Griffith, in a snazzy grey suit, solving mysteries! Thus follows my Truths Learned from the television show Matlock.

Matlock: The Fourth Season

• Surround yourself with people you trust.

Ben Matlock had the best of the best working with him, and he put his life (and the lives of his clients) in their hands.  How I use this: I make sure the people I have in my life are ones I can trust as well. So often friends (especially growing up) are friends of convenience, but at this stage in my life I'm privileged to be able to choose those I spend time with.  

• What seems obvious sometimes isn't always what is actually the truth.

Matlock's clients would appear to have every bit of evidence pointing straight at them, but Matlock knew to dig deeper to see the big picture, not just the easy one that was first presented to him.  How I use this: I try to remember that the easy route isn't always the best route and I try to keep in mind that there can be a lot of things I don't know about a given situation.  

• Pay attention to the details.

It's Matlock's attention to the details that helped him win (almost) every case. How I use this: I try to keep in mind the important things whether I'm working on a project, trying to brainstorm what gift to get a friend, or thinking of ways I can help those around me. Sometimes the littlest detail can make the biggest difference and brighten someone's day. 

• Always trust your gut.

The evidence didn't always surface right away about his clients (usually on trial for murder), but Matlock had a great way of trusting himself to know when a client's story rang true. How I use this: The older I get the more I realize that there's something within each of us that helps guide us toward what's best (and I do my best to listen to it). 

• A little ribbing and friendly competition can sometimes bring people together.

Ben Matlock and A.D.A. Julie March always had an interesting professional and personal dynamic.  Though they were on opposite sides of the courtroom, they often worked together to find out the truth and catch the (correct) bad guy. They definitely didn't agree all of the time, but I think that helped strengthen their relationship (and getting a courthouse food cart hot dog together after the cases wrapped up didn't hurt either). How I use this: I won't always think exactly like the person next to me, or even my closest friends and family members, but that diversity of thought and discussion of differences can help strengthen those relationships and can help me grow.  

• If you feel like you're being followed you probably are, so keep checking that rear-view mirror.

I know this one is a bit literal, but hey, it's always a good idea to be aware of your surroundings. 

• A good grey suit is timeless.

I just love Matlock's closet full of several hangers filled with the same grey suit.  How I use this: find a style that works for you, something you feel comfortable in, and stick with it. You can't go wrong with the classics (solids, polka dots, and simple classic cuts), but it should be whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident. 

• Good banjo and guitar playing, along with a friendly sing-along, is a great way to end the day.

Nothing wrapped up an episode like Matlock's guitar pickin' and singing, and you could see that he liked sharing that.  How I use this: Find something you love and share it with those around you.

First: are there any other Matlock fans out there? Second: if yes (Hooray! Let's hang out sometime--I've got the first 5 seasons on DVD we can watch!) - what truths have you learned? And for the rest of you, are there any other television shows you get nostalgic about?

Truths Learned From Doctor Who

Remember when I learned some truths about decision making from Say Yes to the Dress? Well, here are the truths I learned about saving the world from watching Doctor Who. And I'm sorry.

I started this post a couple of years ago, and then forgot about it, and then we went on hiatus. When we were trying to clean out our drafts, we found it again and I decided to see if I had anything left, and we decided it might be fun to start a series of short "Truths Learned From Pop Culture" posts, so watch for those in the coming weeks.

[image source]

• Everyone deserves a chance (even really terrible monster/alien people, so that mean lady at the department store counter counts too). 
• Even if you're going to wear a posh suit while you travel the universe, wear some sensible shoes (in case you have to run). 
• Sometimes, you have to fight in your jim jams. (Or without your makeup or in your ratty t-shirt or whatever.). (This has become increasingly true now that I am a mother.)
• People are almost always more than they seem. 
• People, collectively, are amazing. They're resilient and imaginative and resourceful, and they are constantly trying to explore and make things better. Sometimes they do things that are really stupid or horrible, but the general strivings for goodness and exploration make up for it somehow, don't they? I like to hope that they do. 

Dr. Who fans out there - what truths have you learned? And for the rest of you, what would you like to see in this series? We have lots of ideas, but we'd love your input!