Monday, April 7, 2014

7 Reasons to Love a Toddler

Toddlers often get a bad rap. It might be because of the tantrums, the biting, the kicking, the shoving crayons into body cavities, the public meltdowns, the unrolling of toilet paper, the spitting of food, the flushing large objects down the toilet... But toddlers also have wonderful beautiful qualities that no other age group possesses! So let's take a moment to revel in the wisdom of the tot.

1. They're terrible at hide and seek.
Nothing makes hide and seek and other games more fun than playing with someone who is adorably clueless. Sometimes my son is just standing in the middle of the room with his eyes closed giggling uncontrollably. Or if he's really bringing his A game he stands in the middle of the room with a dish towel over his face. Now tell me that's not better than playing with someone who actually understands how to hide.

2. They'll believe anything you tell them.
I tried for months to convince my toddler to stop trying to climb the stairs to the attic. Nothing worked, not baby gates, not positive reinforcement, not consequences. Finally one day I pried him off the stairs and told him he shouldn't climb those because Elmo lives up there. (Elmo is my son's nemesis.) It worked like a charm. It's been months and he still thinks an inanimate object is renting out our attic bedroom.

3. They think you're awesome.
Who in your life is going to be impressed with you when you burp? A toddler. End of list. Every time I burp my son gives me a high five. He boosts my self-esteem every day and makes me feel much cooler than I actually am.

4. They have the best physique.
There's nothing like a short little person with a giant bowling ball head and a protruding pot belly waddling around on some stubby legs with rolls and cankles. No one looks better in a swim suit than a toddler. Not even Kim Kardashian.

An example of their fine physique. Also of their work ethic.

5. They are easily entertained.
Can anyone else be entertained by garbage? Empty cardboard boxes? Watching cars drive by? You don't have to pack toys to entertain a toddler, just pull out a gum wrapper and you've bought yourself 20 minutes of play time.

An empty paper towel tube, one of the finest toys ever made.

6. They are brutally honest.
One time I bought a hideous yellow nail polish and the only person with the courage to tell me it was ugly was of course, a toddler.
Toddler: Why are your nails yellow?
Me: Because I painted them.
Toddler: Um didn't you have any other colors like red or pink?
Me: Yes but I just got this color and I wanted to try it.
Toddler: Oh. Well it's weird. Plus it's chipping so maybe you should take it off now.
We all need a toddler in our life to tell us the honest truth.

7. They make every day a surprise.
Some days you put on your shoes to find raisins in them. Some days you get to the store and realize your toddler stole your wallet and hid it somewhere. Some days someone will say hi to them and your toddler will utter for the first time, "you fat." Some days they will transfer every article of clothing they own from their dresser into the garbage can. Your life will never be dull again.

So let's all go out and kiss a toddler today. Don't mind the boogers, they're considered extra protein...


Meg said...

Hahaha. This is all so true! I would add their mad dance moves (CB has mastered the pivot and clap), their delight with things like whether you caught that they just said "alligator" or not (who else is that excited when you just understand them?) and the fact that they group EVERYTHING in ridiculous ways, like deciding that the rocks outside are Daddy rocks, Mommy rocks and Baby rocks.

Cara Larsen said...

Also the way they must sleepbin your bed and be in some way connected to you, my favorite is feet in the face.

Brandee Evarts said...

Such a true post! Toddlers are the best! I also love their sweet natures. Like when they cover you with their blankie and kiss your forehead when you are laying on the couch because you must be ready to take a nap, right? I also love how they think everything is theirs, even when it's not, but they did see it, so maybe...