Thursday, October 10, 2013

How to get through school while being terrified of Halloween.

Halloween is THE WORST for me. Everyone should be pretty aware by now that I hate all holidays. Halloween may take home the prize for most hated holiday.

I can’t walk into Target. I can’t go to Wal-mart. I can’t even go into a public library or doctor’s office from early September until Thanksgiving. I once had a panic attack during a basketball game because the other team’s colors were black and orange.

Can you tell how excited I am? (I'm the one with 'ACE' written on my forehead.)

If you’re like me and you hate halloween, it’s okay. I’m here to let you know that you can get through it.

1. The grade school parties & parades.

It doesn’t get worse than this. I promise you. My mother insisted that I dress up for Halloween every year. I think it was so I could trick people into thinking that I really liked Halloween so no one would scare me. I was a doctor, a penguin, a tube of toothpaste, a playing card and other non-threatening people or items. When it was time to do the school-wide parade I would stand in line and try really, really hard not to cry. Thankfully, around 4th grade, I had a teacher that understood that I did not want to participate. The older kids didn’t have to parade around, but we still had to view the young kids coming into our classroom with their freakishly scary costumes. (Dear mothers, your kindergartner does NOT need to wear a mask that has blood dripping from it.) This lovely teacher allowed me to go into her empty classroom and play Oregon Trail until the festivities were over. How amazing is that?

2. The high school cool kids.

For some reason, people still wanted to dress up in high school. This dressing up usually included dressing like you were about to go out clubbing or wearing the scariest mask you could find. No thank you. I made friends with the secretary at our school (she also happened to be my cheerleading coach) and she gave me a pass to leave each class 5 minutes early so I could avoid the crowded costume-infested hallways.

3. The college parties.

Thankfully, most people are over dressing really creepy for college. Well, at least on Halloween. Sure, there are lots of Greek Life themed parties, but those are easily avoided. Just don’t go. The best part about college is that you don’t actually have to attend class. I would gather up my favorite movies, order some pizza and invite a few friends to keep me company for the entire day/night. College rules.

The only good thing about Oct. 31st is it only happens once a year. Sure, people drag it out to be a month long, but it makes makes Nov. 1st that much sweeter.

Oh, and did I mention that’s when I turn another year older? Thank you Halloween for ruining the build-up for my birthday.

Make friends with your teachers & administration and they’ll be able to help you when the dreaded day falls on a school day. You can always chat with me. You’ll know where to find me. Locked in my house, under covers watching Season 1 of The Mindy Project.

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