That's Normal

*Nothing in this is meant to be given as medical advice or information. Do not take my word as a reasonable idea or treatment for anything in pregnancy. I have no formal education about obstetrics, and do not intend to sound as though I know anything about it. Seriously, this is not medical advice or even useful medical information, do not take it as so*

I can't tell you how many times I have heard "That's normal," in my 3 pregnancies.  A symptom I am so certain could not possibly be considered normal, and my doctor or nurse calmly explains "many pregnant women experience that, it's normal".  My real question is, how does one define normal in an experience that we are told is never the same and is completely different for every single person who experiences it?  I believe it is an excuse to try and avoid dealing with crazy, hormonal pregnant women.  i understand, I mean I often find myself thinking that they way I am acting is indeed certifiable, however, I also cannot seem to stop myself.  Here are some of the stranger/more annoying side effects I have come across.

-Not only did my feet swell into misshapen hippopotamuses in my first pregnancy (thanks to a transcontinental flight) but my feet actually grew.  As in after my son was born I couldn't fit into my favorite shoes anymore. It's one thing to have to work your way back into your wardrobe, expected even, but how am I supposed to work my feet into being smaller?!!

-Nose bleeds. All the time.  I never had a nose bleed in my life until I was pregnant.  And of course, as with any (seemingly) large amount of blood coming out of your body, I totally freaked out at first.  I thought I must have a brain tumor or a sinus infection or that I would loose so much blood it would hurt the baby.  All for naught, it's completely "normal". Increase blood flow and overly dry sinus create this wonderful side effect.

-Aching fingers.  Alright, I suppose I can accept the aching back, and extremely sore hips from hormones meant to stretch and open your pelvis (called relaxin, interestingly enough) but my fingers?  I mean come on! Why do I suddenly have to worry about typing or playing the piano (not that I had time for it) and the pain it could cause to yet another part of my body.

-Morning sickness, I know this is not a surprise to anyone, but I think the actual meaning can be.  Turns out, it's not just in the morning. It's non stop, all the time. Anytime you could be struck down with a fit of nausea and desires to never eat again. When I was pregnant with my daughter I couldn't stand french fries. Those delicious, crispy, salty, wonderful treat that goes so well with a burger? They were inedible trash.  And, if you are prone to bad morning sickness, meaning you can't eat for several days, well that's alright too.  As long as you can drink a little bit (8 oz in 24 hours) of water and are still urinating then you just have to wait it out.  Your doctor can give you recommendations for medication and other remedies, but it is not cureable.

-I have worn glasses most of my life, since I learned to drive and discovered that I was only seeing half of the world.  But, pregnancy actually made my eye sight worse.  I really wanted to spend that several hundred dollars replacing my otherwise fine glasses and sunglasses. Thanks.

-Headaches.  Another wonderful thing I experienced. You see I was a migraine neophyte. I had, of course, had the occasional head ache. I had slept strangely, or knocked my head, but nothing like this.  And I must say, I have great respect for anyone who suffers regularly from migraines. How they live every day and function is miraculous. My husband had to take several sick days from work so I could hide in the dark with heating pads and regular doses of tylenol.

Despite all of these strange and obnoxious side effects, I must leave you on a positive note.  I love my children.  Being a mom is my favorite thing, and I wouldn't trade it ever.  I am just not one of those gleefully happy pregnant women who flow through all 9 months without so much as a stretch mark (don't even get me started on those).   Even still, I would go through 9 months of strange side effects and uncomfortable-ness for each of my children again.  Even knowing the possible horrors that would arise.   Let's just remember, the next time someone tells you "Oh, that's normal, you're pregnant" it is perfectly alright to mentally slap them and think "normal my foot!". We won't judge you.