Thursday, January 16, 2014

Ninja Power-Washer: My Super Weird Bucket List

A while ago we had a fun post about one of our author's anti-bucket list. It inspired me to take the time and write out my actual bucket list, mostly in secret hope that my husband would stumble upon it and immediately begin planning an extravagant hot-air balloon trip. But as I wrote my bucket list, a standard part of every person's life, I realized that my list is super weird.

1. Ride in a hot-air balloon.
This is, proudly, my most normal wish. So it goes at the very top of the list. You see I am noooormal, I promise. Be my friend please.

2. Power-wash something extremely dirty.
Every time I see a really dirty semi-truck or building or something I sit and fantasize about how much I desperately want to power wash it. Some day folks. Maybe I can be a professional power-washer one day. Or, if that's not a job, maybe I'll just be a ninja power-washer that cleans dirty things in the dead of night.

3. Win something!
A few nights ago my husband and I had a conversation about what I was trying to do on the iPhone while I hid in our walk-in closet from our toddler who loves to play games on the iPhone.
Husband: What are you doing that can't wait until you don't have to hide in the closet?
Me: I'm entering a contest to win a dog Halloween costume.
Husband: But we don't have a dog.
Me: I know but I've never won anything and the entries are really low, so I might have a shot!
Husband: So you have no interest in the actual prize?
Me: Correct.
Note- I did not win the dog Halloween costume. Of course.

4. Punch someone in the face.
I promise I'm not a violent or overly-aggressive person, but every time I watch a scene in a movie where someone punches another person right in the face in a bar fight I think, "Yeah! I'd really like to do that!" So maybe I should start hanging out at bars more, insulting people, and trying to hit on their girlfriends...

5. Sleep on a train.

Okay, if you want to get technical, I guess I have fallen asleep on a train while suffering from severe jet lag. But that doesn't count. I want to sleep on a designated sleeping train that has sleeper cars! Is that what they're called? And hey, maybe I'll win my train night in a contest! You never know...

6. Chase a bad guy.
Every day I fantasize that I will interrupt someone snatching some old lady's purse or something just so I can chase them down. Because I am a good runner and it makes me feel really good to know that I can outrun someone. Once I caught said person I would probably just get terrified and run away, but it would feel so good to know that I could outrun them.

7. Pick crops/fruit.
My husband keeps trying to assure me that fruit picking is delegated to low-wage workers for a reason, but he is so wrong. Fruit picking is for the most adventurous thrill-seekers. This one is a work in progress. Though I did spend a whole day in Texas sneaking into cotton fields and citrus groves while my husband manned the getaway car. Don't worry I left the fruit there, but I just wanted to know what it would feel like to pick it. That's normal right?

8. Ride a pony.
Accomplished, though while giving me a slight self-esteem issue. I ran up to the man at the fair and asked him tentatively if maybe like adults could ride the ponies too. He assured me yes, it's perfectly normal for adults to ride the ponies! Why it happens all the time! And that's when they led one of the cute little ponies back into the barn, and replaced him with a giant horse. And then I had to ride my giant horse all around the pony ring while my husband tried not to laugh.
It was impossible to get my giant pony in the picture with me. It was that big.

9. Drive through a tunnel.
Also accomplished. I am a woman of great accomplishments. Let that be known. In Utah there aren't any tunnels, so driving through one is a momentous and noteworthy goal, OK? It was so exciting I turned around and drove through it four more times.

10. Play in a children's museum as an adult.
Accomplished! I knew I birthed my son for a reason... I LOVE pretend shopping in a pretend grocery store. LOVE! If you are ever wondering what I'd like to do for my birthday, that is it. Or any of the above-mentioned items. Or hey, maybe I can punch you in the face! Just kidding...maybe.
My golden ticket into said museum. Also, I proudly knocked some toddlers out of the way so I could steer this life-size model tugboat. It was the best day ever.

What are your bucket list items? Do you have some strange ones too? Do you want to be friends? I think my husband is getting weary of my strange bucket list desires.

1 comment:

My name is Becka said...

Oh my goodness. This was a good read.
My deepest desire? To own a buffalo. A buffalo! A real life buffalo! I mean, they are hands down my favorite creature in the whole world, and I figure the only way to hug one is to own one when it is a baby right? Sadly all animals on our farm will have to be around 'for a reason'. So I'd try to treasure every moment while I could before it ended up on our plates...