My Anti-Bucket List: Things I will never do (and I'm okay with that)

Recently I've been overwhelmed by all the things I've yet to accomplish. Maybe that sounds spoiled and ungrateful, (because it is) but I've been sick and exhausted and generally useless, so I decided to make a list of things I will never do (by choice).

1) I will never skydive. I'm sure this would be great for lots of people. In fact, I purchased skydiving tickets for my husbands 30th birthday so he and his best friend could go. They had a blast. He's threatened to do the same for my 30th birthday. I've promised if he does so he will either be murdered or served divorce papers.

2) I will never get plastic surgery. It's just not for me. I'm happy with the way I look and the only thing I'd ever consider being reconstructed in any way is my postpartum bellybutton which somehow reminds me of a sad clown, but even then who really cares about my sad bellybutton?

3) I will never run a marathon. This one I'm a little bummed about. But I remember when I was finishing my half marathon and there was a diverging path for people running the full I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine going  ANOTHER 13.1 miles. Too much training for me.

4) I will never own a pet. This one might make me a monster, but pets are a lot of work, and kids are a lot of work, and I opted for kids. The rewards are much greater in my opinion and they aren't as smelly.

5) I will never pay for designer anything. If you are into designer labels, more power to you...but I think it sends a materialistic message that I wouldn't want to send. It's not for me. If someone gave me something for free, I would take it and use it, simply because I love fantastic deals and free is as fantastic as deals get. Related note: my husband received a Coach wallet for a Christmas gift from one of his students one year. It was extremely generous, but he ended up selling it because as a teacher, he felt odd walking around in his JC Penny Dockers with a Coach wallet in his pocket.

6) I will never watch the Austin Powers movies.

7) I will never go hunting. Camping is bad enough, but camping with bloodshed is worse.

8) I will never stop being in love with Zac Efron. And I will never apologize for that.

9) I will never read 50 Shades of Grey.

10) I will never get a tattoo. I can't think of anything I'd rather not do, besides skydiving. There is no single word or image I can fathom being happy with for my entire life. Even if it were something as beautiful as my children's names, how can I be sure I would always love the font, size, and location of my very permanent and painful choice.

11) I will never be too old for Harry Potter.