I loved these entries from Smart, Pretty, and Awkward; they're from different days, but they're all about being kind and helping people to feel comfortable and included.
How to be (less) Awkward: In a group conversation, never let anyone become an island. Always be working to make sure everyone feels connected, involved and included in the conversation.
How to be (less) Awkward: One of the quickest ways to draw others out of their shell is to ask about people important to them in their life. When someone asks me what’s new, and I’m feeling shy, I usually just say “oh you know–same old!” But if someone asks me what’s new in my best friend’s life, or how my sister likes college, or if my roommate has gotten a dog yet–I go on and on. When I feel shy, I find it is so much easier to talk about others rather than myself, and so I imagine others feel the same way.
How to be Smarter: Focus on being interested in others, rather than being interesting to others. By being interested, you instantly become interesting.
I think one of the biggest mistakes we all make is assuming that other people are more than us--more relaxed, more popular, more interesting, more put-together, smarter, cooler... Whatever. But feeling insecure about ourselves can sometimes prevent us from reaching out toward others who may actually be feeling just as uncomfortable as we are.
1 comment:
I learned a trick from my grandpa's girlfriend about getting (and keeping) a conversation going. She just says, "Tell me about...", rather than saying "how" or "what" or "when". For example, rather than saying, "How did you meet?", which you would think would illicit a response, but can be answered with "school", you say, "Tell me about how you met", which requires someone to say more. And it expresses a genuine interest in knowing about how someone did or experienced something, which makes them more likely to discuss it.
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