Monday, February 1, 2010

Live right now; just be yourself/ It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

When I meet someone new, or get in touch with someone I haven't talked to since childhood, I find myself trying to get a sense for what kind of person that person will like, then trying to fit myself into that mold. It isn't a conscious decision, just my natural subconscious approach to conversation; I do it with people I already know well, too, only it isn't so obvious because that's how I'm used to interacting with them. When I sit in front of the computer trying to write a comment on someone's Facebook wall, I delete and rewrite again and again, analyzing everything to pieces and trying to anticipate how the person will react to every word.

It takes more courage than I currently have, but I am trying to learn that I don't have to use a fake personality for every person in my life. I don't have to hide my real thoughts and feelings from people. I don't need to pretend to feel the same way they do about everything; I shouldn't try to make them see me only from a certain angle, or be afraid that if they see the other angles, they won't like me anymore. If people don't like me the way I really am, then there isn't much sense in associating with them. It's okay if every person I meet doesn't love me. They can take me or leave me, and I'll be okay; the important thing is to just be comfortable with myself.

3 comments:

Meg said...

I love this post. Also, it makes me think of another line from Jimmy that would make a great post: "We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are." Hmm.

Lis said...

I agree- it's so hard to not care if someone doesn't like us, but if we are able to- it's quite liberating!

Miki and Ed said...

amen miri! it's so much fun to b yourself,
i do it more and more all the time and i really find that i don't care if people like me or not, as long as they do what i say lol jk, but really, u will have so much more energy if u don't calculate so much.
i personally do not like that poeple agree with me on everything, it comes across fake, and that's why i like to argue with you (;
i guess along as we respect each other it's more interesting not to think alike ha? about everything, including religion, politics etc.
And as long as we do not make assumptions that we know what the other person feels or think.Yup the skills of interdependent relationships.
And it's funny i just wrote a status about similar issue on FB. But I really sum up the 4 agreements (on FB it's 2 of them).
Peace(though may disagree on how to reach peace)
Oh and IMO to reach this personal freedom u gotta go through some transition times when things feel weird and even hard. Because we are used to fall into our comfort zone perspective and behavior like old tapes, and we break it we learn things we DI NOT WANT TO SEE and sometimes it saddens or angers us but its worth it!! Good post I must agree! (: