Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Destination: Beautiful

I spent last week at my grandparents' house visiting with them and cleaning whatever I could get my hands on. Three days were dedicated to the kitchen and during those three cleaning days, I watched whatever marathon happened to be on at the time. Lucky for me, one of those days brought me a What Not to Wear marathon (Megan, Miri and I are all equally in love with this show and I'm pretty sure we could talk about it with regard to specific episodes and people if it came down to it).

On one particular episode, I found myself holding back tears several times. There was this beautiful woman, successful, married, mother of a little girl, who could not believe she was pretty. Now, if you watch this show, you'll know this isn't necessarily out of the ordinary. A lot of the women on that show dress the way they do because of one insecurity or another. But when Stacy and Clinton asked this woman when the last time she felt beautiful was, she couldn't answer them. She just stood there thinking and not saying anything.

And I stood in my grandparents' kitchen, with my hands covered in soap suds, trying not to cry like a little baby. It broke my heart to think that she couldn't think of one single time when she felt beautiful. Think of it. Even when you only consider the "big" moments she had in her life- wedding, graduation, prom, etc.- she couldn't even default to that. She drew a complete blank.

It made me realize that no matter how unhappy I am with how I look, there are always times to look back on where I truly felt beautiful. Incidentally, prom is not included in that list. My fake college prom, however, is.

(See that guy there? With his arm around my shoulder? Yeah. Maybe that was the first and last time we ever met each other. But we went to a free college prom and I got roses so go me!)

It made me realize that there are other people who feel this way. This isn't a new revelation, I promise, but it is something that I was reminded of. It also reminded me of the challenge Miri talked about when we first started this blog. Look in the mirror and be happy with who you are. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do it long enough, and you will start to believe it and you will start to feel it. If no one else is saying it to you, say it to yourself.


Heidi Marie said...

Lin, thank you. Sometimes you need someone to tell you what to do. Kinda like a pinch or a slap in the face to wake up. I know I feel more beautiful when I tell myself I am, or concentrate on the things I like about the way I look. And when I look in the mirror and pick out the flaws, I feel absolutely worthless... But nothing changed, only the way I view myself.

Heidi Marie said...

and YOU are beautiful!

Lis said...

I know sometimes I'll look in the mirror and see zits (shouldn't they go away as you get older!) or tired eyes or something and think blaaah....
Other times I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, "Wow- I'm really pretty!" I'll tell my husband and he'll always agree. When I notice that about myself, I take a moment to just look and enjoy the feeling.
When this happens it's because I'm looking at my whole self and not one particular thing. It's nice :)