Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Guest Post: Wanted

Guest post by Julie, who, let's face it, is probably more like an honorary fourth contributor to this blog than a guest.

"Is it destruction that you're required to feel like somebody wants you?"
From "Pretty (Ugly Before)" by Elliott Smith

Meg used these song lyrics in her introduction. They pulled me in. I want to talk about them. Is the answer yes or no? Who requires of us to want to be wanted? What is the ultimate objective of being wanted? I want to talk about being wanted, in the desire and pursuit of love.

As a woman I want a romance. I want the Confederate wedding to Rhett Butler and the happily ever after with all his smuggling-earned money. It is seared in my soul along with the girlhood memory of Aladdin taking Jasmine on a magic carpet ride. I was addicted to boys by first grade and declared my love to Mark in a folded love letter which I never gave him. I was in love with Mark until 8th grade, with the exception of my mad obsession with adorable Rhett in 4th. Why are girls obsessed with boys? Are we obsessed with boys, or do we just want to be wanted? Are these two separate things? Being wanted feels good. Being NEEDED is even better, like being picked first for dodge ball. It feeds our self value, ego, social status.

Yes, society is causing the destruction of young unguided girls in the desire of love. Entertainment is distorting love and glorifying physical desire. Love is on everyone’s mind. It feels required of us to seek love. But here is the fact. It is not required.

I have hope for the swooning female gender. Women can successfuly want to be wanted without destruction! It is healthy emotion to want to be wanted. It is how you ingest these feelings that makes the difference. You make the choice: succumb to pressure from society, obsess over love's pursuit and your worthiness, or pursue your own personal happiness and love. Do you want to love? To be loved in return? If the answer is yes then seek it, watch for it, wait for it, and enjoy the pursuit of it. But no one can love a broken obsessed you (unless you meet Brady Black from Days of our Lives. He could fix you). Become the one you want to be. Then, wanting to be loved cannot destroy your soul, only make it more beautiful.


Julie W said...

Oh, Thanks girls are so sweet and work so hard! Glad I could add some jibberish today.

Miri said...

For me, being wanted is preferable to being needed, because wanting is voluntary. But the point is the same, and you're absolutely right--the important thing is that you know how to deal with the emotion. If you let that desire to be wanted rule your life, if you make decisions based solely on that emotion and let it talk you into doing things you otherwise wouldn't do, that's when it becomes a problem. It's like the old expression about too much of a good thing; the emotion is good, but it's not meant to be in charge of your entire life.

abnormallyawesome said...

I, being a teenager, like boys but am under the impression that boys are dumb. Girls are dumb too but that's not the point. I feel an attitude developing and it is this; I get all this time to learn about me. To find all the things I love. To understand why things make me happy.
While I'm unsure that the Me I become will have positive reception from dumb boys, and while waiting to be wanted is excruciating, I am confident the Lord has someone who loves every stupid thing I do... and that's worth the wait.