An Open Letter to December (Because that’s what blogs are for…)

Dear December,

Thank you for sucking less than November. November felt cold like February and hectic like September, and that just doesn’t fly with me. December, thanks for charging in like a steam-roller but going back in time and slowing down a bit -- and for being warmer (temperature-wise and sentiment-wise). I know in November we’re supposed to reflect and give thanks, but I think you, December, are a better reminder of why we should be thankful. November has Black Friday (and all of the other marketing-based theme days that follow), but by this point in mid-December, we’re all “big-deal-discount”ed out. December, you give me an excuse to do something special for my loved ones or pick up something special that makes me think of them. Things that I think they might like or could use; I like that.

It’s easy to get lost in the hustle of it all, but I love the serendipity of “I just happened to bump into this while shopping for toilet paper and it caught my eye and distracted me from actually purchasing what I intended to purchase during my trip to the store (turn around and go back again...Toilet paper canNOT be forgotten), but it was worth it because of the joy I got from thinking of you and hope you can get joy from this gift.” Or the “I’ve been researching all year and reading lots of kids’ books to try to find the perfect book for your family and I think your little one will chuckle at this silly picture book and I love giving books because it gives parents a children a special time together to bond and learn and love and maybe even build tradition.” Or the “Let’s spend some extra time together today just wasting time, but it isn't wasting time because it is making memories together” moments.

And there’s the part of December that reminds me that, even though it can be hectic cramming four family birthdays in on top of the rest of the holidays, it’s nice to have such amazing family and friends to celebrate with -- and fortunate to have the means to celebrate together. Thanks also for helping me remember moments spent with those I've lost -- Sometimes those reminders are hard, but the memories are always special and heartwarming.  December really is a time for togetherness and thankfulness and mindfulness -- and excess amounts of complex carbohydrates. (And sweatpants.)

Much love, dear December (even though I still don’t like winter),

Cara

TBT: What do we inherit without knowing?

This past father’s day my siblings and I went together to get my dad a gift. Since I was able to get free shipping, I put the order together and each of my siblings paid me. None of this is earth shattering or new, or even interesting, until I opened a letter with a check from one of my brothers. Oftentimes you think about inheriting physical features from your parents: height, hair color, distinctive facial features, even your voice or vocal inflection.  When I opened that letter I realized that my brother’s handwriting is almost exactly like my dad’s, from the curl of the “C” to the combined swoop of the “St.” We tend to communicate through email, phone, or other family members, so I rarely see this brother’s handwriting. It was a nice reminder that not only do we get the physical features of our parents, but we also carry with us, for the rest of our lives, what they teach us growing up. They help shape us unto the people we are continuing to grow into, and that's a good thing.

Things I Sometimes Need to Be Reminded Of

Things I sometimes need to be reminded of, and my guess is that you might too:

• It’s okay to start a book and not finish it. 
• The dishes really can wait. (Until they really can’t.)
• Live in the moment, but plan for the future.
• Put down your phone already. 
• Much of the time, the latest internet post isn’t as important as your time. 
• Accept praise.
• Accept failure.
• Dance. 
• Just because everyone feels this way at some point in their life, that doesn’t lessen the truth of your experience. 
• Embrace it all, but keep striving for more. 
• Practice patience with others. 
• Practice patience with yourself (this is harder than being patient with others).
• You don’t always have to be strong. 
• You don’t always have to have the answers.
• Keep your expectations high. It’s worth it. 
• Don’t forget sunscreen. You’ll regret it if you do. 
• Know your limits and embrace them. 
• It's okay to be wrong sometimes.
• Be careful about how/where/when you roll your eyes. 
• Compromise in various situations (it’s necessary), but don’t compromise to the point of losing sight of the big picture.
• In due time.
• Just go for a walk. 
• Comfortable shoes are worth it. 
• Simplify.
• Show appreciation for the little things, the big things, and the people that make them possible.
• Breathe.

I know I’m missing some (see “You don’t always have to have the answers” and "It's okay to be wrong sometimes"), so what are some of the things you say to yourself to help you step back and reflect?

Appreciating Small Towns

I may live in a metropolitan area now, but I grew up in a small town. While I enjoy the convenience of many things in a larger city, I still appreciate the benefits of small town living.  Here are a few examples:

Car mechanics

• Not only do you know who to go to in town for what problem (electrical, engine, tires) but they know you, your parents, and knew your grandparents (and possibly even your great grandparents if your roots in the town grow that deeply). This is helpful almost all of the time. Why? Not only do they call it like it is (“You can probably get away with another 7,000 miles on those tires, but if you’re going somewhere with hills in winter you might want to put on new ones before then”), they don’t charge you for simple things that others might (“I don’t think that rattle is anything to worry about” or “Don’t worry about having us clear that ‘check engine’ code--it didn’t hardly take any time”). Also, they let you into the work area to visit with them. If you happen to be there, chewing the fat, and (light bulb!) remember a funky sound you’ve been hearing (in addition to the oil change you originally brought your car in for) or if you’ve ever wondered what that funky shaped thing was next to the other thingy, you can ask and they’ll answer! 

Bakeries

• My sister was putting together a surprise party for my Dad’s birthday. Technically his birthday was on Friday, but in order to be sure everyone could be there (six kids, plus partners, grandkids, and helloooooo schedules and weather!) we agreed to have the party on Saturday. I was in charge of cake for the Saturday party and called several weeks in advance to place my order at the local bakery. In order to make sure he didn’t suspect our plottings, my mom and I, and my siblings who lived closer to the area, threw our typical “birthday dinner” party and got a small cake from the bakery. Because the bakery is 1) awesome and 2) knows my family from years of ordering cakes and delicious dinner rolls, they called my mom to check to see whether we actually did want two birthday cakes: one for Friday (decoy) and one for Saturday. They’ve had instances where different members of the same family had each ordered a cake, not knowing the other had already taken care of it. Talk about service and attention to detail! Plus, it is where local folks gather to get their morning coffee and doughnut and shoot the breeze.  

Grocery Stores 

• While the selection of items may not be as diverse as that of a larger city, every time I head back to my hometown grocery store I run into people I know--Whether it is customers I grew up with or employees with whom I graduated high school (or perhaps I know their kids from my school days). It is familiar and welcoming, and half the time in the store is spent visiting with them about how my folks are doing, or how their folks are doing, or how many kids they have. And then I realize I need to rush through the checkout to get home to put the melting carton of ice cream that was sitting in my cart the whole time into the freezer before it turns into soup. 

Gas Stations

• Small town gas stations have an amazing selection because they tend to be the only store open past 11 p.m. And sometimes, you really are willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a four-pack of toilet paper...and you might as well throw in that awesome battery-powered spinning candy sucker while you’re there (because who has the energy to twirl their candy using their own manpower after 11 p.m.?). 

Neighbors

• Growing up I knew our neighbors. Their daughter babysat us; we bought hay from them for our horses; the neighbor two houses down (which in the country is at least a quarter-mile away from the edge of our driveway) would come and plow out our driveway (which itself was about a quarter-mile long). We kept track of one another, asking about their extended family, and generally just chewing the fat. If their dog would come visit ours it wasn’t a big deal--It was just neighbor dogs being neighborly. If their horses got out, we’d give the neighbors a ring and help shoo them back over to their place. 

Quirky Attractions

• If you’re looking for fun slogans or strange attractions, look no further than small towns. Here are just a few of my favorite slogans from Iowa that just might charm you:
• Readlyn: "857 friendly people and one old GRUMP"
• Jewell: “A gem in a friendly setting”
• Lake City: “Everything but a lake” 
• Stuart: “Home of 1,700 good eggs and a few stinkers”
• Mallard: “We’re friendly ducks”
• In the realm of strange attractions, small-town Iowa has you covered, once again: 
• Ames: World's Largest Concrete Gnome
• Brandon: Iowa's Largest Frying Pan
• Britt: Hobo Museum (and annual festival!)
• Maquoketa: Two-Butted Lamb
• Sac City: World's Largest Popcorn Ball
• Stuart: Bank robbed by Bonnie and Clyde
• West Branch: Creepy Goddess of Life: a Gift for Herbert Hoover (I’ll just say that the statue is appropriately described and leave it at that)
• Villisca: Villisca Ax Murder House and Museum

What is it that you appreciate about small town living, or visiting the small towns around you?