The Power of Vulnerability

This TED talk went viral a little while ago, but I was thinking about it again the other day and thought I should share it in case you missed it. It's funny and beautiful and empowering - pretty much all of the things I love. Enjoy!

This is Water

If this hasn't shown up in your news feed yet, allow me to pretend that we're Facebook friends and I'm tagging you as I post it. I saw it come up a few times before I clicked on it, and when I finally did, I was only planning to open it in another tab and then leave it until tomorrow. (This is something I do often when I find cool things I want to check out just as I'm trying to go to bed... and almost as often, it results in a browser with so many tabs open that I eventually lose patience and close out the whole thing without reading any of them. I sort of have issues with multitasking on the internet, by which I mean that I have to learn to stop doing it.)

Anyway. The point of that story was that when I opened the video in a new tab, it started playing automatically, and after just a few seconds I found myself not wanting to pause it. It's intriguing, eye-opening, and inspiring. If you take ten minutes to watch it, I feel pretty confident in promising you that you won't be disappointed.

My New Favorite Supermodel

I'd be lying if I said those were words I ever expected to say, but here they are, and totally true. I have a crush on Cameron Russell.

If you don't know about TED Talks, that is a situation that needs to be remedied immediately. If nothing else, you should acquaint yourself with them now because I'm almost guaranteed to post more of them here in the future. I've never seen one that wasn't fantastic, and most of them are pretty mind-blowing considering how short they are (usually five to twenty minutes, sometimes longer; this one's just under ten). 

Cameron Russell's talk is a good example. It's not earth-shattering, but it's a fascinating perspective most of us probably haven't had the opportunity to hear much of (because how many supermodels do you know?). It's also an interesting commentary on the way appearances affect our lives. "Image is powerful, but also, image is superficial. I just totally transformed what you thought of me in six seconds"—which she did by changing how she looked on stage. If you have ten spare minutes today, this would be an excellent way to spend them.

Something Fun for Your Friday

Something Amazing

Look for something amazing today! 

(And tell us about it if you find it... That's kind of a given. :P)

Not How it Happens in the Storybooks

I watched this wonderful episode of Sesame Street with Lana this morning, and it reminded me of our Post About Disney Princesses from back in March.

Here's what happens: Abby, Rosita, and a penguin are playing princess.  Paul Rudd plays a handsome prince. More specifically, he plays the handsome prince, the one from all the fairy tales. And he keeps showing up when the princesses are in trouble, determined to save them. 

But alas, our poor prince is foiled again and again; not by the evil schemes of a fairy tale villain, but--goodness gracious--by the resourcefulness of the very princesses he is trying to save! When Penguin gets stuck up on a balcony, he cries "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair!" And then Abby points out that Penguin doesn't have any hair. While the prince stands there, flummoxed by his failure, Abby flies up and rescues the penguin herself. 

The scenario repeats when the penguin has lost her ice skate, and again when she has skated so enthusiastically that she's flung herself into a mailbox and gotten stuck. Each time the prince shows up, ready to save the day; and each time he discovers, to his chagrin, that the princesses are perfectly capable of saving themselves.

I've included the clip I found on YouTube (which I hope isn't violating any copyrights... but if YouTube hasn't had to take it down, then it should be okay, right?). It's about ten minutes long, and if nothing else, you should watch it for Paul Rudd's amazing performance.




As much as I adore Paul Rudd as a foppish, conceited young prince, I love the moral of the story even better: That girls can take care of themselves, and don't need to be rescued by princes every time something goes wrong. And I really love that at the end of the episode, they talk the prince into playing football with them. Yay for Sesame Street, and a lovely message for little princesses everywhere.

Guest Post: Brandon

Brandon is the founder of Notes on Parenting, a blog dedicated to giving parents important information about child development. It is also meant to bring up family life issues that we may not normally think about. Brandon is currently a student at Brigham Young University, majoring in Psychology with a minor in Family Life. He has been accepted for graduate studies in Human Development & Family Studies at the top schools around the nation. He and his wife have a beautiful (and teething) 9 month old daughter, who has done things all on her own time (i.e. she definitely doesn't fit what most of the development textbooks tell you!). Brandon's key interests include the transition to parenthood, the importance of fathers, and effective parenting.


How many times have you heard someone mention the impact of media on children? The most powerful video I've ever seen on the impact of media was created by Dove: Watch it here.

Seriously, after watching this video, all I can do is think, “I am raising my daughter with all of this around? How the heck do I protect her from all of this filth about what it takes to be a ‘real and beautiful’ woman?!”

But we can’t blame only outside influences--how many times do you yourself worry about how you look, or make comments about how you look in front of your children? Usually, what parents value, children begin to value as well; so if you are constantly worrying about those two extra pounds or your normal human body, children will begin to value a standard that may be unrealistic for their own bodies. Our bodies are sacred. Be careful what you do and say about your body around your children.

Additionally, everyday comments that we as parents make can influence our children's way of thinking about their bodies. For instance, which of the following approaches is better?

"Rachel! Stop watching TV all day. You'll get fat!"

-or-

"Rachel! Let's go for a bike ride together. It's a beautiful day!"

Both of these statements have the same intention--to get the child to stop watching TV and do something active--because the parent is worried about the child's exercise habits and health. However, the second example is much more effective on many levels. Instead of making the child worry about her looks and weight, the parent offers a better option for her daughter's time and body, while also spending time with the child. This is teaching by example. Be careful not to miss these small teaching moments! You can teach your children what real beauty is by letting them see your own priorities.

What do you have to say about this issue? How do you teach--or plan to teach--real beauty to your children?

Loveliness on the Red Carpet

Students at the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders made this video, which I saw this morning on the news, wishing Sandra Bullock good luck at the 2010 Academy Awards. The school posted the video on YouTube, with this text:

Sandra Bullock was a founding member of the Ann Richards School Advisory Board and an early supporter of the school. Students created this video to wish Sandra good luck at the 2010 Academy Awards, where she is nominated for Best Actress for her role in The Blind Side. Bullock's character in the film is instrumental in giving a young man an educational opportunity, and the Ann Richards School sees Bullock as equally instrumental in helping provide girls with a college preparatory education. The Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders in Austin, Texas, is a public college preparatory school for girls grades 6-12, founded to give young women from economically disadvantaged backgrounds the skills and confidence necessary to pursue college educations and careers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L05eVory8Ys

I will be honest with you: I haven't actually seen The Blind Side. I saw a trailer for it several months ago while seeing a different movie, and--I hate to confess it--the preview made me cry. Enough, in fact, that I have been putting off seeing it all this time. But the Oscars and the movie aside, I want to say how happy it makes me when people who have the means get involved in education. There are few things more important than giving kids all the opportunities they can get, and it is really wonderful to see people care about that.

Beware the Me Monster

If any of you love Brian Regan as much as I do, you will probably be familiar with this bit. It's one of my favorites:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QvSoRQrVJg

I have actually been meaning to write this post for few days, and when I visited Prudent Baby on Tuesday I was reminded that I hadn't done it yet. That entry is exactly what I have been wanting to write about:

#214 Try not to wait eagerly for people to finish their stories just so you can tell your own versions that more directly involve you.

I am of the opinion that when you are telling a story--whether it's one you're upset about or one you're excited to share--one of the most annoying things someone else can do is wait until you're done, then try to top your story with their own. Phrases like "that's nothing" or "consider yourself lucky" often come up when people jump in to share their own four-wisdom-tooth tales.

Remember that communication post we had up a couple weeks ago? Remember the part about overtalking? Well this has a lot to do with that. If all I'm thinking about the whole time a person's talking is how much better my story is, or how I can't wait to share it, then I'm not giving that person the attention they deserve. In addition, if the first thing I say after they stop talking is "that's nothing," imagine how that person feels. I have had this done to me many times, and I'm sure you have too, so it isn't that hard to imagine how the person feels. What we need to do is make sure that we never do this to other people.

You don't have to say one of those phrases for it to count, either. If you don't start with "consider yourself lucky," but then go on to tell a story in which you make the other person's story sound less important, then it's just as bad. No one should do this to people, because it doesn't feel good. We need to have respect for people that we're talking to. This doesn't mean you can't share your own related story; just don't do it as though you're competing. Say something that shows you empathize; acknowledge their frustration or excitement or pain; let them know you feel for them. Something like "Oh yuck, I'm sorry. I know how you feel, I had something similar happen to me, and it sucked" (or, "Yay, that's awesome! I'm so excited for you!"). Then tell your story. They won't mind if you do it that way. Good communication means having respect for other people, responding to them the way we would want them to respond to us... and not being a Me Monster!

A Thankful Heart

This would technically be a Christmas song, but I think it's the perfect transition. Also, I love it and it makes me happy. Hope it does the same for you (goodness knows we need a post Black Friday shopping pick-me-up)!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpb9EbmvM5M

What Is Your Favorite Flaw and/or Trait?

This topic has been brought up once or twice so I thought I would try an experiment. I put the question out there (via Facebook) to be answered. It is a difficult question to answer and, truthfully, not something everyone really wants to think about, but we did get a few answers. I'm a little surprised at the similarities. Some things that were mentioned are things I deal with myself (blotchy cheeks) and some things are things I have noticed about my friends and things that I think are charming.

Here are a few answers:

Megan said, "I definitely have a freckle in my eye (just like the Postal Service song!) and I really like it. I especially love it when my nephews notice it and want to know why it's there and then think it's cool."

Two people mentioned naturally rosy cheeks because it saves time and money on make up (no blush).

Two people mentioned moles (beauty marks if they are on your face, tres chic), one under the eye and one on the corner of the mouth "...like it's almost being eaten. So whenever I'm eating chocolate or something brown, people tell me I have a little bit on my mouth. For some reason, I think this is hilarious instead of embarrassing."

One person mentioned her "half grin" and how happy she is her daughter inherited it. Also, her under eye circles (with the help of concealer), which we all know are almost impossible to appreciate so she deserves a pat on the back.

And Hayley mentioned in her guest post how she likes her vampire teeth.

Miri learned to love her curly hair, even though in Texas humidity it's more often frizzy than not, and her giant smile, which shows her top gums but has kind of become her trademark.

I have already mentioned that I like my crooked smile...I'll add my blotchy cheeks to the list and my easy to take care of, but sometimes unruly eyebrows. I guess I like my face! That's good, right?

That's me with my brother. Crooked smile (notice how my bottom lip goes down on the left? it gets much worse), no blush (and yet the cheeks are rosy), and happily untamed eyebrows.

I guess my point is that even if you didn't answer the question, it's an important one to think about. Embrace your quirks and take pride in the things about you that make you different...the things that make you beautiful.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_Vqr3LLT40

Dove Evolution

A wonderful video I've had pointed out to me several times recently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

Indeed, no wonder our perception of beauty is distorted: what we're seeing isn't even always real. So let's stop wishing for something we can't have and be happy with what we've got.

Ugly Duckling

I have been taking care of my nephews this week while their parents work hard to feed all of us. They are 3 (almost 4) and 19 months. My youngest nephew really likes ducks, a growling quack was one of the first "words" he uttered. Last fall, I got a copy of the soundtrack from Hans Christian Andersen which has a copy of the Ugly Duckling on it:



We were listening to this song in the car (as we do pretty much every single day) and when it was over my older nephew said, "But I thought all the birds told him to go away." As I tried to explain the story to him, I realized it wasn't really an easy concept to explain. "Well, they did tell him to go away, but then he wasn't ugly anymore so everyone liked him." That just sounds wrong. Be pretty and everyone will love you? Awesome.

Obviously, I didn't explain it to him that way. I said something more along the lines of he wasn't a duck at all...he was a swan the whole time! It didn't really answer his question, but he was satisfied. The whole thing got me thinking about how much our immediate social circles can influence the way we feel about ourselves. Our families and friends and coworkers can have such a lasting (and sometimes devastating) effect on our self esteem and our well being. I have known people in the past that made me feel like less of a person, people who made me question my worth simply by living their own lives. Our backgrounds, personal beliefs, decisions and individual insecurities can easily plant that little seed of self doubt in the people around us. It works both ways.

I don't really think there is a way to protect yourself from this type of thing. I think it is human nature. The only thing you can change and work on is yourself. You can work to be more perceptive. Remind yourself that everyone is different and what works for them may not work for you and that is okay. It's better than okay...it's what makes us unique and beautiful and lovely. You can work to be more encouraging to the people around you. Try to pay attention to when they need a pick-me-up or just a smile. Sometimes it is hard to push aside your own worries (they can be so demanding), but it is definitely worth it.

How Lovely to be a Woman

Megan's post yesterday reminded me of this song:



It is from one of my favorite movies, Bye Bye Birdie. I love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1ilu-ARtiY

Something Fun for Friday

Okay, this movie is a little long, but trust me: it will make you so happy. Enjoy and happy Friday!
Oh, and by the way - I think you're all great and beautiful and amazing at what you do. You are AWESOME.

And in case you're wondering - yes, that is T.J. Thyne from Bones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao