If I Had to Pick Just One...

"No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself."
- Virginia Woolf





*Although, I must say, sometimes it's fun to sparkle.

The Thing With Feathers

I like the idea of hope. As I think about all the different definitions I've heard of this word, all the conflicting ideas about it, I feel like sometimes we miss the point of it.

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."

--Vaclav Havel, last President of Czechoslovakia and first President of the Czech Republic; poet, playwright, dissident, and human rights champion.

I think this is the best definition I've ever seen, aside from one thing: To me, hope and optimism are the same thing.

I think the problem with people's idea of optimism is perspective. Being an optimist doesn't necessarily mean that you believe everything will go the way you want it to right now; like Havel says, I think it means you believe, you have hope, that in the long run, everything will be right. If this means you suffer short-term failures, that's okay--you can't always see the path beyond where you are now, so if something doesn't go the way you wanted it to, it's just because your information wasn't complete.


Hope means accepting what comes, and learning that no matter what, you never know everything. It requires a faith in something bigger than you: A conviction that even if you can't see it now, things will make sense in the end.

Ugly Duckling Revisted

Back when we first started doing this, Lin posted something about the Ugly Duckling story and how that can be a little problematic. I saw this the other day and kind of liked it, so we're circling back around. 

"I wonder if the ugly duckling felt stupid when he realized being pretty didn't magically solve all his problems."

Blog Spotlight: Living in the Motherhood

For those of you who have enjoyed Melissa's guest posts today and in the past, we want to tell you about her new project, "Living in the Motherhood." She actually credits the Lovely blog as being part of the inspiration for what she's doing, and we think she's creating something really special over there. We're excited to share it with you, and encourage you to frequent it and perhaps write guest posts or nominate great mothers for the spotlights.

Thanks for being lovely, Melissa! Check out the blog at  http://livinginthemotherhood.blogspot.com.

Guest Post: Being a Mother

Melissa has provided us with quite a few guest posts, and here is another great one. Enjoy!

The word “woman” is not a definition in itself. A woman can be classy, sophisticated, and timeless; however, a woman may also be gaudy, brash, and unrefined. Women may be funny, or humorless. We are each born with our own spirit which may drive us to be traditional or modern, passive or passionate. We have the choice to become the person we desire. Each woman has within them virtue and flaw mixed with personality: the recipe for character.

Similarly, the word “mother” is not a definition in itself. I used to worry about becoming a mother. I thought I was far off from my own mother. My mother is kind, generous, sweet, refined, gentle, and innocent. I’m just sassy. While our core beliefs remain intact, our personalities are very different. Part of me assumed that when I became a mother, the angelic virtue of my mother would be born in me.

Nope.

For a long time I struggled because I couldn’t recognize the goodness of my mother in myself. Then, after months of guilt and reflection, I decided the best way to be Hannah’s mom was to embrace the fabulous person I am; to love her with all of my heart, care for her, and teach her, but be my own person and do it my way. So I am working simply on being the best mother I can be: Because I can either be a wonderful version of myself, or a poor version of someone else.